New Republican Presidential candidate Jon Huntsman is fluent in Chinese. In a short period of time the Republicans have come quite a long way. The last Republican president wasn't even fluent in English.
The entire island of Martha's Vineyard has gone Obama crazy. There's even a cocktail that they've named after Barack Obama. It's called the Obamarita. Not to be confused with a cocktail inspired by John McCain, the Cosmopoligrip. And then there was one a couple of years ago inspired by George W. Bush, the Mojidiot. Of course, there was the Bill Clinton Screwdriver.
Sometimes when you look in his eyes you get the feeling that someone else is driving.
Did you see Howard Dean ranting and raving? Here's a little tip Howard - cut back on the Red Bull.
It's autumn in New York. The colors are changing yellow, the browns, the greens, the oranges. And that's just the tap water.
Illinois is the only state where the present governor rides around in a car whose license plate was made by a previous governor.
John Boehner - doesn't he look like every guy you've ever seen at a hotel bar? He looks like the kind of guy who licks his thumb when he counts his money.
Since 1980, there have been 91 breaches of security at the White House. Well, 92 if you count George Bush.
The White House has announced that they no longer recognize Fox as a news organization, which puts them about eight years behind the rest of us.
CBS News finally received anthrax in the mail. As usual, we're number three.
There's only one requirement of any of us, and that is to be courageous. Because courage, as you might know, defines all other human behavior. And, I believe - because I've done a little of this myself - pretending to be courageous is just as good as the real thing.
Last night the United States dropped four 2,000 pound bombs on Saddam Hussein. I don't know anything about explosives, but, my God, do those things even need to explode?
You folks been following the big British Petroleum oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico? I'm telling you, British Petroleum has put more birds in oil than Colonel Sanders.
Security here in New York City is still very tight. Hookers in Times Square now are demanding two forms of fake ID.
Because you think an explosion has taken place and you're looking at the shards and you say, 'Well, can we put this back together?' And by God, maybe you can put it back together. And maybe it won't be the same, but maybe it will be different, and maybe it can even be better in a different way.
I went to the beach a couple of times in New York City. Tough summer out there, but I was pretty excited. I found what I thought at the time was a very rare seashell. And I took it to a friend of mine who works in a museum. And I was really disappointed. It turned out to be just a human ear.
Here's a woman, a real pioneer for other women looking for careers in stand-up comedy. And talk about guts - she would come out here and sit in this chair and say some things that were unbelievable - where you would have to swallow pretty hard... but it was hilarious... the force of her comedy was overpowering.
New York City subways are now getting high speed Internet. How about some high speed subway trains?
You know you've had too much to eat for Christmas dinner when you slump down onto a beanbag and realize... there is no beanbag.
Economists believe there are three reasons why the Russian economy is doing so poorly. One, economic sanctions are working. Number two, low-price oil. And number three, Lindsay Lohan has quit drinking vodka.
Someone did a study of the three most-often-heard phrases in New York City. One is "Hey taxi." Two is "What train do I take to get to Bloomingdales?" And three is "Don't worry, it's only a flesh wound.
If you didn’t believe it before — and it’s easy to understand how you might have been sceptical on this point — if you didn’t believe it before, you can absolutely believe it now: New York City is the greatest city in the world.
Political pundits are saying President George W. Bush has made gains in two key states: dazed and confused.
Happy Birthday to Fay Wray, a wonderful actress. She was, of course, in the movie 'King Kong' and would have been 99-years-old today. She was famous because of her love interest with a giant ape, and, wait a minute, that's Maria Shriver.
The Academy Awards are passed out on Sunday. It's voted by members of the Academy of Motion Pictures Arts and Sciences. Or as I call them, 50 shades of white.
