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Mark Twain Quotes - Page 94

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I purpose publishing these Letters here in the world before I return to you. Two editions. One, unedited, for Bible readers and their children; the other, expurgated, for persons of refinement

I purpose publishing these Letters here in the world before I return to you. Two editions. One, unedited, for Bible readers and their children; the other, expurgated, for persons of refinement

Mark Twain
Religious, Children, Two
Mark Twain, Howard G. Baetzhold, Joseph B. Mccullough (1996). “The Bible According to Mark Twain”, p.249, Simon and Schuster

Well, no doubt it's a blessed thing to have an imagination that can always make you satisfied, no matter how you are fixed.

Mark Twain
Religious, Blessed, Imagination
Mark Twain (2013). “Delphi Complete Works of Mark Twain (Illustrated)”, p.1454, Delphi Classics

I would not read the proof of one of my books for any fair & reasonable sum whatever, if I could get out of it. The proof-reading on the P & Pauper cost me the last rags of my religion.

Mark Twain
Religious, Book, Reading
Mark Twain, William Dean Howells (1967). “Selected Mark Twain-Howells letters, 1872-1910”

Life is but a dream, a grotesque and foolish dream.

Mark Twain
Dream, Crazy, Mad

The law of work does seem utterly unfair-but there it is, and nothing can change it: the higher the pay in enjoyment the worker gets out of it, the higher shall be his pay in cash, too.

Mark Twain
Work, Law, Doe
Mark Twain, Bernard L. Stein (1983). “A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court”, p.279, Univ of California Press

The cat, having sat upon a hot stove lid, will not sit upon a hot stove lid again. Nor upon a cold stove lid.

Mark Twain
Cat, Hot, Cold

When there was room on the ledge outside of the pots and boxes for a cat, the cat was there- in sunny weather- stretched at full length, asleep and blissful, with her furry belly to the sun and a paw curved over her nose.

Mark Twain
Cat, Sunny Weather, Noses
Mark Twain (2013). “Delphi Complete Works of Mark Twain (Illustrated)”, p.1669, Delphi Classics

If you shamefully misuse a cat once she will always maintain a dignified reserve toward you afterward. You will never get her full confidence again.

Mark Twain
Cat, Misuse, Reserves
Mark Twain (2012). “Mark Twain at Your Fingertips: A Book of Quotations”, p.90, Courier Corporation

A wanton waste of projectiles.

Mark Twain
War, Waste, Projectile
Mark Twain (2012). “Mark Twain at Your Fingertips: A Book of Quotations”, p.183, Courier Corporation

Well, my book is written-let it go. But if it were only to write over again there wouldn't be so many things left out. They burn in me; and they keep multiplying; but now they can't ever be said. And besides, they would require a library-and a pen warmed up in hell.

Mark Twain
Letting Go, Book, Writing
Mark Twain (1929). “Mark Twain's Letters”, p.284, Jazzybee Verlag

The Germans are exceedingly fond of Rhine wines; they are put up in tall, slender bottles, and are considered a pleasant beverage. One tells them from vinegar by the label.

Mark Twain
Wine, Labels, Bottles
Mark Twain (2016). “A Tramp Abroad”, p.85, Xist Publishing

The convention missionaries call "modesty" has no standard, and cannot have one, because it is opposed to nature and reason and is therefore an artificiality and subject to anybody's whim - anybody's diseased caprice.

Mark Twain
Modesty, Reason, Conventions

There's nobody for me to attack in this matter even with soft and gentle ridicule-and I shouldn't ever think of using a grown up weapon in this kind of a nursery. Above all, I couldn't venture to attack the clergymen whom you mention, for I have their habits and live in the same glass house which they are occupying. I am always reading immoral books on the sly, and then selfishly trying to prevent other people from having the same wicked good time.

Mark Twain
Book, Reading, Thinking

Comedy keeps the heart sweet; but we all know that there is wholesome refreshment for both mind and heart in an occasional climb among the pomps of the intellectual snow-summits built by Shakespeare and those others.

Mark Twain
Sweet, Heart, Snow
Mark Twain, Caroline Thomas Harnsberger (2009). “Mark Twain at Your Fingertips: A Book of Quotations”, p.430, Courier Corporation

....try the mustard, - a man can't know what turnips are in perfection without mustard.

Mark Twain
Men, Perfection, Trying
Mark Twain, General Press (2016). “The Complete Works of Mark Twain: All 13 Novels, Short Stories, Poetry and Essays”, p.990, GENERAL PRESS

The moral of it is this: If you are of any account, stay at home and make your way by faithful diligence; but if you are 'no account,' go away from home, and then you will have to work, whether you want to or not. Thus you become a blessing to your friends by ceasing to be a nuisance to them-if the people you go among suffer by the operation.

Mark Twain
Home, Blessing, People
Mark Twain (1872). “Roughing It”, p.570, Buccaneer Books

I am not an American. I am the American.

Mark Twain
"Mark Twain: not an American but the American" by Sarah Churchwell, www.theguardian.com. October 29, 2010.

True irreverence is disrespect for another man's god.

Mark Twain
Men, Disrespect, Irreverence
Mark Twain (2012). “Mark Twain at Your Fingertips: A Book of Quotations”, p.405, Courier Corporation

The gentle reader will never, never know what a consummate ass he can become until he goes abroad.

Mark Twain
Travel, Ass, Gentle
Mark Twain (2008). “The Innocents Abroad”, p.233, Velvet Element Books

Priapism is what happens when someone gets strangulated to the point of hypoxia.

Mark Twain
Happens

The English are mentioned in the Bible; Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.

Mark Twain
Blessed, Earth, Meek
Mark Twain (2015). “Following the Equator: Mark Twain's Collections”, p.146, 谷月社

The New York papers have long known that no large question is ever really settled until I have been consulted.

Mark Twain
New York, Long, Paper
Mark Twain (1984). “Plymouth Rock and the Pilgrims and other salutary platform opinions”, Harpercollins

The poetry is all in the anticipation, for there is none in reality.

Mark Twain
Reality, Anticipation, Poetry Is
Mark Twain (1872). “Roughing It”, p.143, Buccaneer Books

Patriotism is merely a religion-love of country, worship of country, devotion to the country's flag and honor and welfare.

Mark Twain
Country, Patriotism, Honor
Mark Twain (2012). “Mark Twain at Your Fingertips: A Book of Quotations”, p.349, Courier Corporation

Dance like nobody's looking.

Mark Twain
Dancing

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