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P. J. ORourke Quotes - Page 23

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There is a remarkable breakdown of taste and intelligence at Christmastime. Mature, responsible grown men wear neckties made of holly leaves and drink alcoholic beverages with raw egg yolks and cottage cheese in them.

There is a remarkable breakdown of taste and intelligence at Christmastime. Mature, responsible grown men wear neckties made of holly leaves and drink alcoholic beverages with raw egg yolks and cottage cheese in them.

Funny, Christmas, Xmas

P. J. O'Rourke (1983). “Modern manners”, Dell Books

I write because I like to make things and the only things I am good at making things with are words.

Writing

"PJ O'Rourke - the rightwinger it's OK for lefties to like" by Paul Harris, www.theguardian.com. October 29, 2010.

There are plenty of problems in the world, and doubtless climate change - or whatever the currently voguish phrase for it all is - certainly is one of them. But it's low on my list.

Lists, Climate, Phrases

Interview with Gregg LaGambina, www.avclub.com. July 16, 2009.

Those who do not know history are probably also not doing well in English or math. P.J. O'Rourke

Math, History, Wells

Industrialization came to England but has since left.

Industrialization, England, Left

P. J. O'Rourke (2016). “Republican Party Reptile: The Confessions, Adventures, Essays and (Other) Outrages of . . .”, p.11, Pan Macmillan

Civilization is an enormous improvement on the lack thereof.

Civilization, Improvement, Enormous

P.J. O'Rourke (2012). “Holidays in Hell”, p.12, Atlantic Books Ltd

We are a nation that worships speed and power. And for good reason. Without power we would still be part of England and everybody would be out of work... Bicycles are too slow and impuissant for a nation like ours. They belong in Czechoslovakia.

Would Be, Modern Life, England

P. J. O'Rourke (2016). “Republican Party Reptile: The Confessions, Adventures, Essays and (Other) Outrages of . . .”, p.94, Pan Macmillan

I am a journalist and, under the modern journalist's code of Olympian objectivity (and total purity of motive), I am absolved of responsibility. We journalists don't have to step on roaches. All we have to do is turn on the kitchen light and watch the critters scurry.

Responsibility, Light, Objectivity

P. J. O'Rourke (2015). “Thrown Under the Omnibus: A Reader”, p.213, Grove/Atlantic, Inc.

Automobiles are free of egotism, passion, prejudice and stupid ideas about where to have dinner. They are, literally, selfless. A world designed for automobiles instead of people would have wider streets, larger dining rooms, fewer stairs to climb and no smelly, dangerous subway stations.

Stupid, Passion, Ideas

P. J. O'Rourke (2007). “Give War a Chance: Eyewitness Accounts of Mankind's Struggle Against Tyranny, Injustice, and Alcohol-Free Beer”, p.117, Grove/Atlantic, Inc.

The Chinese had gunpowder, but it didn't occur to them to put it in a gun. They possessed the compass but didn't go anywhere. They invented paper, printing, and a written form of their language, but hardly anyone in China was taught to read.

Gun, Chinese, Paper

P.J. O'Rourke (2011). “Holidays in Heck”, p.143, Atlantic Books Ltd

A charity ball is like a dance except it's tax deductible.

Balls, Charity, Taxes

P. J. O'Rourke (2007). “Modern Manners: An Etiquette Book for Rude People”, p.132, Grove/Atlantic, Inc.

Well the planet I've got a chance to visit is Earth, and Earth's principal features are chaos and war. I think I'd be a fool to spend years here and never have a look.

War, Thinking, Years

P.J. O'Rourke (2012). “Holidays in Hell”, p.11, Atlantic Books Ltd

As a libertarian I believe we should have a federal government simple and circumscribed enough to be run by an average, dull, normal American. With George W. Bush we have half the equation in place.

Running, Believe, Simple

As I get older, all sorts of things become less funny. Once one has children, any cruelty involving children becomes far less amusing than when one was at the mercy of one's friends' and relatives' children.

Funny, Children, Mercy

Humans have trouble with economics, as you may have noticed, and not just because economic circumstances sometimes cause them to starve. Humans seem to have an innate inability to pay attention to economic principles.

Inability, Principles, Attention

P. J. O'Rourke (2011). “Eat the Rich: A Treatise on Economics”, p.6, Pan Macmillan

Everything that's fun in life is dangerous. And everything that isn't fun is dangerous too. It's impossible to be alive and safe.

Fun, Alive, Safe

P. J. O'Rourke (2007). “Republican Party Reptile: The Confessions, Adventures, Essays and (Other) Outrages of P.J. O'Rourke”, p.40, Grove/Atlantic, Inc.

Commies love concrete.

Concrete

P.J. O'Rourke (2012). “Holidays in Hell”, p.71, Atlantic Books Ltd

It is important to remember when making jokes about women, that they are not a minority. They weren't captured on another continent and brought here in leg-irons (funny shoes, yes, but not leg-irons) and Hitler didn't blame them for Germany's loss in WWI. Therefore, you can make any kind of fun of them you want.

Fun, Loss, Shoes

You don't despair about something like the Middle East, you just do the best you can.

Despair, Middle East, Do The Best

There are lots of levels of fear and complaint about the government getting involved in business. First and foremost, of course, is incompetence.

Government, Levels, Firsts

Source: www.avclub.com

In England, all the English car companies were beginning to circle the drain in a series of well-deserved failures and bankruptcies, earned by making lousy products with very poor production at high prices. So, the government, back in the '70s, nationalized all the British car companies. The result was British Leyland, a name that perhaps doesn't resonate much with you.

Names, Government, Circles

Source: www.avclub.com

Farm policy, although it's complex, can be explained. What it can't be is believed. No cheating spouse, no teen with a wrecked family car, no mayor of Washington, D.C., videotaped in flagrante delicto has ever come up with anything as farfetched as U.S. farm policy.

Cheating, Car, Farming

P. J. O'Rourke (2015). “Thrown Under the Omnibus: A Reader”, p.248, Grove/Atlantic, Inc.

Satire doesn't effect change.

Satire, Effects

Political systems are run by self-selecting politicians. We don't draft people; it's not jury duty.

Running, Self, People

"How to interview P.J. O’Rourke on drugs while getting your mind blown and not embarrass yourself". Interview with Mike Riggs, dailycaller.com. November 5, 2010.

I'm old enough to remember when the air over American cities was a lot dirtier than it is now.

Air, Cities, Remember

Interview with Gregg LaGambina, www.avclub.com. July 16, 2009.

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