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P. J. ORourke Quotes - Page 22

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A humorist doesn't really do that much note-taking.

A humorist doesn't really do that much note-taking.

P. J. O'Rourke
Notes, Note Taking, Humorists
"A Conversation With Colin Powell". Interview with P. J. O'Rourke, www.theatlantic.com. September 2004.

Fortunately, I'm married to someone who's a pretty excellent parent!

P. J. O'Rourke
Parent, Married, Excellent

[ I'm] humorist, I guess. Or really more of a reporter. A reporter who reports on funny things.

P. J. O'Rourke
Funny Things, Reporters, Reports
Source: www.avclub.com

There aren't many political humorists. Dave Barry is excellent, but he doesn't do it much.

P. J. O'Rourke
Political, Excellent, Dave
Source: www.avclub.com

I don't watch much television. Yeah, that's pretty funny. I don't know where The Daily Show stand politically, do you?

P. J. O'Rourke
Watches, Television, Yeah
Source: www.avclub.com

Bill Maher can be pretty good, except when he gets "important." Maher's all over the place politically.

P. J. O'Rourke
Important, Bills
Source: www.avclub.com

There's such a self-conscious balance that goes into television. Also, these are not people that think things through.

P. J. O'Rourke
Thinking, Self, People
Source: www.avclub.com

You read [Bill ] Maher's book, and he didn't take Econ 101. All his arguments about gasoline, it's not that they're right or wrong - they're just not informed.

P. J. O'Rourke
Book, Gasoline, Bills
Source: www.avclub.com

I like Michael Moore, but I think of him more as a rabble-rouser.

P. J. O'Rourke
Thinking
Source: www.avclub.com

Some people are better imagined in one's bed than found there in the morning.

P. J. O'Rourke
Morning, Sex, People

You can learn all about the human condition from covering the crime beat in a big city - you don't need to go to Beirut for that - but a foreign correspondent begins to understand poverty from a different perspective.

P. J. O'Rourke
Cities, Perspective, Poverty

The inherent purpose of American government is let people seek their own goals and to encourage them to be responsible on the various adventures they have on their way to those goals, good, bad, and otherwise.

P. J. O'Rourke
Adventure, Government, Goal

Our democracy, our culture, our whole way of life is a spectacular triumph of the blah. Why not have a political convention without politics to nominate a leader who's out in front of nobody? Maybe our national mindlessness is the very thing that keeps us from turning into one of those smelly European countries full of pseudo-reds and crypto-fascists and greens who dress like forest elves.

P. J. O'Rourke
Country, America, Leader

Visiting Future World is like opening a Chinese fortune cookie to read, "Soon you'll be finished with dinner."

P. J. O'Rourke
Funny, Humor, Chinese
P.J. O'Rourke (2012). “Holidays in Hell”, p.159, Atlantic Books Ltd

Fish is the only food that is considered spoiled once it smells like what it is.

P. J. O'Rourke
Food, Lakes, Sea

Little islands of human happiness, peace, and prosperity are so exceptional at this point in history that I'm not even sure we can draw lessons from them.

P. J. O'Rourke
Islands, Littles, Lessons

Even a band of angels can turn ugly and start looting if enough angels are unemployed and hanging around the Pearly Gates convinced that all the succubi own all the liquor stores in Heaven.

P. J. O'Rourke
Angel, Heaven, Liquor Stores
P. J. O'Rourke (2007). “Parliament of Whores: A Lone Humorist Attempts to Explain the Entire U.S. Government”, p.194, Grove/Atlantic, Inc.

There's no telling what might have happened to our defense budget if Saddam Hussein hadn't invaded Kuwait that August and set everyone gearing up for World War II. Can we count on Saddam Hussein to come along every year and resolve our defense-policy debates? Given the history of the Middle East, it's possible.

P. J. O'Rourke
War, August, Years
P. J. O'Rourke (2007). “Parliament of Whores: A Lone Humorist Attempts to Explain the Entire U.S. Government”, p.168, Grove/Atlantic, Inc.

Imagine a weight-loss program at the end of which, instead of better health, good looks, and hot romantic prospects, you die. Somalia had become just this kind of spa.

P. J. O'Rourke
Loss, Hot, Looks
P. J. O'Rourke (2007). “All the Trouble in the World: The Lighter Side of Overpopulation, Famine, Ecological Disaster, Ethnic Hatred, Plague, and Poverty”, p.65, Grove/Atlantic, Inc.

Russian cars are silly. They look like imports drawn by a cartoonist for a UAW newsletter.

P. J. O'Rourke
War, Silly, Car

Armenians and Azerbaijanis in Stepanakert, capital of the Nagorno-Karabakh autonomous region, rioted over much needed spelling reform in the Soviet Union.

P. J. O'Rourke
Funny, Humor, Reform
"Year in Review". Rolling Stone, December 15, 1988.

People have a right to my food, a right to my housing, and a right to my good job for my decent pay.

P. J. O'Rourke
Jobs, People, Pay
P. J. O'Rourke (2007). “Eat the Rich: A Treatise on Economics”, p.223, Grove/Atlantic, Inc.

I remember thinking cocaine was subtle until I noticed I'd been awake for three weeks and didn't know any of the naked people passed out around me.

P. J. O'Rourke
Thinking, People, Naked
P.J. O'Rourke (2015). “Thrown Under the Omnibus”, p.366, Atlantic Books Ltd

Social Security is a government program with a constituency made up of the old, the near old and those who hope or fear to grow old. After 215 years of trying, we have finally discovered a special interest that includes 100 percent of the population. Now we can vote ourselves rich.

P. J. O'Rourke
Government, Years, Special
P. J. O'Rourke (2007). “Parliament of Whores: A Lone Humorist Attempts to Explain the Entire U.S. Government”, p.220, Grove/Atlantic, Inc.

When I became a man, I put away childish things and got more elaborate and expensive childish things from France and Japan.

P. J. O'Rourke
Men, Japan, France
P. J. O'Rourke (2016). “Republican Party Reptile: The Confessions, Adventures, Essays and (Other) Outrages of . . .”, p.93, Pan Macmillan

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