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Woody Allen Quotes - Page 17

All Quotes Age Anxiety Art Atheism Atheist Baseball Basketball Beer Boredom Character Childhood Children Choices College Comedy Concentration Cooking Country Crime Culture Cynicism Death Desire Divorce Drama Driving Dying Education Enthusiasm Failing Falling In Love Feelings Fighting Film Food Fun Funny Genius Getting Older Giving God Hate Heart Heaven Hell Hilarious Home House Human Nature Humanity Hurt Imagination Immortality Inspiration Inspirational Inspiring Kissing Laughter Liberty Life Logic Love Love And Death Love Life Luck Lying Mankind Marriage Maturity Meaning Of Life Money Morning Pain Past Philosophy Politics Quality Reading Reality Regret Reincarnation Religion Running Sarcasm School Science Sleep Smoking Stupidity Style Success Suffering Sunday Talent Time Today Tragedy Universe Waiting Wall War Water Wife Winning Writing

Sex is the most fun you can have without laughing.

Sex is the most fun you can have without laughing.

Witty, Sex, Fun

I love baseball. You know, it doesn’t have to mean anything. It’s just very beautiful to watch.

Beautiful, Baseball, Mean

Woody Allen (1987). “Three Films of Woody Allen”, Vintage

In the shower, with the hot water coming down, you've left the real world behind, and very frequently things open up for you. It's the change of venue, the unblocking the attempt to force the ideas that's crippling you when you're trying to write.

Real, Writing, Ideas

"Woody Allen: What I've Learned" by Cal Fussman, www.esquire.com. August 8, 2013.

Sentence structure is innate, but whining is acquired.

Writing, Editing, Whining

It's a wonderful thing to be able to create your own world whenever you want to.

Dance, Writing, World

"Woody Allen, The Art of Humor No. 1". Interview with Michiko Kakutani, www.theparisreview.org. 1995.

Ninety percent of life is just showing up.

Fitness Motivational, Showing Up, Life Is

When we played softball, I'd steal second base, feel guilty and go back.

Funny, Softball, Baseball

I feel that life is divided into the horrible and the miserable. That's the two categories. The horrible are like, I don't know, terminal cases, you know, and blind people, crippled. I don't know how they get through life. It's amazing to me. And the miserable is everyone else. So you should be thankful that you're miserable, because that's very lucky, to be miserable.

Witty, Life And Love, Humorous

Annie Hall, www.imdb.com. 1977.

Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.

Funny, Life, Art

2000 In The Guardian, 31Dec.

When we lose twenty pounds... we may be losing the twenty best pounds we have! We may be losing the pounds that contain our genius, our humanity, our love and honesty.

Honesty, Weight Loss, Humanity

Woody Allen (2007). “The Insanity Defense: The Complete Prose”, Random House Incorporated

Interestingly, according to modern astronomers, space is finite. This is a very comforting thought-particularly for people who can never remember where they have left things.

Funny, Humor, Science

Woody Allen (2007). “The Insanity Defense: The Complete Prose”, Random House Incorporated

Harvard makes mistakes too, you know. Kissinger taught there.

Mistake, Annie Hall, Taught

Woody Allen, Marshall Brickman (2000). “Annie Hall: scénario bilingue”

I know of only six genuine comic geniuses in movie history; Charlie Chaplin, Buster Keaton, Groucho Marx & Harpo Marx, Peter Sellers, and W.C. Fields.

Fields, Six, Genius

I'm not a drinker, my body won't tolerate...eh...spirits, really. I had two martinis New Years Eve and I tried to hi-jack an elevator and fly it to Cuba.

Funny, New Year, Witty

All i have in my life is my imagination

Imagination, Life Is, My Imagination

When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.

Funny, Humor, Parent

"Standup Comic". CD compilation of Woody Allen's comedy routines from 1964-1968, 1999.

I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown.

Funny, Humor, Science

Just don't take any class where you have to read BEOWULF.

School, Class, Advice

People think I'm an artist because my films lose money.

Artist, Thinking, People

I took a speed-reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It involves Russia.

Funny, War, Book

"Sorry, But Speed Reading Won't Help You Read More" by Mark Seidenberg, www.wired.com. January 24, 2017.

I can't with any conscience argue for New York with anyone. It's like Calcutta. But I love the city in an emotional, irrational way, like loving your mother or your father even though they're a drunk or a thief. I've loved the city my whole life - to me, it's like a great woman.

Mother, New York, Father

Woody Allen, Robert E. Kapsis, Kathie Coblentz (2006). “Woody Allen: Interviews”, p.128, Univ. Press of Mississippi

Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverage.

Funny, Food, Humor

Without Feathers "Selections from the Allen Notebooks" (1975)

This guy goes to a psychiatrist and says, Doc, my brother’s crazy. He thinks he’s a chicken. The doctor says, Well, why don’t you turn him in? And the guy says, I would but I need the eggs. Well I guess that’s pretty much how I feel about relationships. You know they’re totally irrational and crazy and absurd but I guess we keep going through it because, uh, most of us need the eggs.

Witty, Brother, Crazy

What people who don't write don't understand is that they think you make up the line consciously — but you don't. It proceeds from your unconscious. So it's the same surprise to you when it emerges as it is to the audience when the comic says it. I don't think of the joke and then say it. I say it and then realize what I've said. And I laugh at it, because I'm hearing it for the first time myself.

Writing, Thinking, Laughing

"Woody Allen: What I've Learned" by Cal Fussman, www.esquire.com. August 8, 2013.

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying. I don't want to live on in the hearts of my countrymen; I want to live on in my apartment.

Witty, Humorous, Heart

"Behind the Scenes Of The Klingon Art of War". StarTrek Interview, www.startrek.com. May 05, 2014.

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