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Woody Allen Quotes - Page 14

All Quotes Age Anxiety Art Atheism Atheist Baseball Basketball Beer Boredom Character Childhood Children Choices College Comedy Concentration Cooking Country Crime Culture Cynicism Death Desire Divorce Drama Driving Dying Education Enthusiasm Failing Falling In Love Feelings Fighting Film Food Fun Funny Genius Getting Older Giving God Hate Heart Heaven Hell Hilarious Home House Human Nature Humanity Hurt Imagination Immortality Inspiration Inspirational Inspiring Kissing Laughter Liberty Life Logic Love Love And Death Love Life Luck Lying Mankind Marriage Maturity Meaning Of Life Money Morning Pain Past Philosophy Politics Quality Reading Reality Regret Reincarnation Religion Running Sarcasm School Science Sleep Smoking Stupidity Style Success Suffering Sunday Talent Time Today Tragedy Universe Waiting Wall War Water Wife Winning Writing

Inertia accounts for two-thirds of marriages. But love accounts for the other third.

Inertia accounts for two-thirds of marriages. But love accounts for the other third.

Marriage, Two, Inertia

Why not? Life is short, life is dull, life is full of pain - and this is a chance for something special.

Pain, Short Life, Life Is Short

Vicky Cristina Barcelona, www.imdb.com. 2008.

I work for a company that makes deceptively shallow serving dishes for Chinese restaurants.

Work, Chinese, Shallow

If it turns out that there is a God...the worst that you can say about him is that basically he's an underachiever.

Witty, Atheist, Philosophy

Love and Death (1975 film)

I cannot say for certain that God does not exist; I think the worst thing that can be said about him is that he's a bit of an underachiever.

Thinking, Superstitions, Doe

There is no justice, there is no rational structure to it [life]. That is just the way it is, and each person figures out some way to cope.

Justice, Way, Structure

"Woody Allen's World: Whatever Works". Interview with Robert E. Lauder, www.commonwealmagazine.org. April 15, 2010.

Some men are heterosexual and some men are bisexual and some men don't think about sex at all ... you know, they become lawyers.

Sex, Men, Thinking

Love and Death (motion picture) (1975)

Don't think of death as an ending. Think of it as a really effective way of cutting down your expenses.

Funny, Cutting, Thinking

I could turn on my radio in the morning when I was getting dressed for school and hear Frank Sinatra and Duke Ellington and Benny Goodman and think this is the music. Now that music is art. Ellington is art. At that time it was just what you heard on the radio. Cole Porter was just a guy who wrote pretty songs and Billie Holliday would sing them.

Song, Art, Morning

CrankyCritic Interview, www.woodyallen.art.pl.

I was in analysis. I was suicidal. As a matter of fact, I would have killed myself, but I was in analysis with a strict Freudian and if you kill yourself they make you pay for the sessions you miss.

Funny, Humor, Suicidal

Annie Hall (motion picture) (1977). Cowritten with Marshall Brickman. This joke appeared in a monologue recorded live in August 1968 and released on The Third Woody Allen Album.

I don't own a computer. I've never seen anything online at all - nothing. I don't own a word processor. I have none of that stuff. It's not an act of rebellion. I'm just not a gadget person.

Gadgets, Stuff, Computer

"Woody Allen On ‘Irrational Man’, His Movies & Hollywood’s Perilous Path – Cannes Q&A" by Mike Fleming Jr, deadline.com. May 14, 2015.

I'm going to my psychoanalyst one more year, then I'm going to Lourdes.

Years, Psychology, Lourdes

Another good thing about being poor is that when you are seventy your children will not have you declared legally insane in order to gain control of your estate.

Money, Children, Order

The universe is merely a fleeting idea in God's mind -- a pretty uncomfortable thought, particularly if you've just made a down payment on a house.

Funny, Laughter, Ideas

Woody Allen (2007). “The Insanity Defense: The Complete Prose”, Random House Incorporated

Is sex dirty? Only if it's done right.

Funny, Sex, Humorous

Everything You Always Wanted to Know about Sex (1972 film)

The last woman I was in was the Statue of Liberty.

Witty, Humorous, Liberty

I'd never join a club that would allow a person like me to become a member.

Funny, Witty, Humorous

You can be distracted by your love life, by the baseball game, movies, by the nonsense. "Can I get my kid into this private school? Can I get this girl to go out with me Saturday night? Am I going to get the promotion in my office?" All this stuff, but in the end the universe burns out. So I think it's completely meaningless.

Girl, Baseball, School

There's something about my films; they're informed by my sensibility. I have the same preoccupations, the same interests... there's just something in the nuance, and so you always know it's a film of mine whether I sign my name to it or not.

Names, Nuance, Film

"Woody Allen gives you two for one in Melinda and Melinda". Interview with Julian Roman, movieweb.com. March 17, 2005.

I got a divorce because my ex-wife left me for another woman.

Divorce, Wife, Left

Manhattan, www.imdb.com. 1979.

[Stanley] Kubrick was a great artist and a perfectionist. He always wanted the exact right thing. He did a million takes. Everything had to be perfect. I'm an imperfectionist. I don't really care that much about the work. I write quickly. I'm careless. I shoot carelessly.

Writing, Artist, Perfect

Maybe the poets are right. Maybe love is the only answer.

Love Is, Answers, Poet

"Fictional character: Mickey". Hannah and Her Sisters, 1986.

I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it's fantastic.

Funny, Beautiful, Sex

Relationships are really what interest me the most. And I think, in the end, they interest most people the most. Even when you read Tolstoy or something, basically they're about man and woman relationships.

Men, Thinking, People

"Woody Allen gives you two for one in Melinda and Melinda". Interview with Julian Roman, movieweb.com. March 17, 2005.

Capital punishment would be more effective as a preventive measure if it were administered prior to the crime.

Funny, Humor, Punishment

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