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Woody Allen Quotes - Page 18

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I do the movies just for myself like an institutionalized person who basket-weaves. Busy fingers are happy fingers. I don't care about the films. I don't care if they're flushed down the toilet after I die.

I do the movies just for myself like an institutionalized person who basket-weaves. Busy fingers are happy fingers. I don't care about the films. I don't care if they're flushed down the toilet after I die.

Care, Toilets, Busy

"Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

Comedy just pokes at problems, rarely confronts them squarely. Drama is like a plate of meat and potatoes, comedy is rather the dessert, a bit like meringue.

Funny, Drama, Humor

"The Guardian profile: Woody Allen" by Xan Brooks, www.theguardian.com. August 22, 2004.

You'll find as you go through life that great depth and smoldering sensuality don't always win.

Winning, Depth, Sensuality

I hate reality but it's still the best place to get a good steak.

Witty, Funny Life, Hate

You know how you're always trying to get things to come out perfect in art because it's real difficult in life

Art, Real, Always Trying

Woody Allen, Marshall Brickman (2000). “Annie Hall: scénario bilingue”

In the event of war, I'm a hostage.

War, Events, Hostage

Woody Allen, Marshall Brickman (2000). “Annie Hall: scénario bilingue”

You're so good looking I can barely keep my eyes on the meter.

Eye, Looking Good, Meter

For a while we pondered whether to take a vacation or get a divorce. We decided that a trip to Bermuda is over in two weeks, but a divorce is something you always have.

Funny, Single, Divorce

You rely too much on brain. The brain is the most overrated organ.

Witty, Humorous, Brain

In California, they don't throw their garbage away - they make it into TV shows.

Funny, Sarcastic, Witty

My films are therapy for my debilitating depression. In institutions people weave baskets. I make films.

People, Film, Institutions

Ads answered out of desperation in the New York Review of Books proved equally futile as…the 'Bay Area Bisexual' told me I didn't quite coincide with either of her desires.

New York, Book, Bisexual

Woody Allen (2007). “The Insanity Defense: The Complete Prose”, Random House Incorporated

"Boy, the food at this place is really terrible." The other one says, "Yeah, I know; and such small portions." Well, that's essentially how I feel about life - full of loneliness, and misery, and suffering, and unhappiness, and it's all over much too quickly.

Terrible, Portions, Feels

"Annie Hall". www.imdb.com. 1977.

Some people think about sex all the time; some people think of sex some of the time; and some people never think about sex: they become lawyers.

Sex, Thinking, People

[An audience conditioned by a lifetime of television-watching is so corrupted that] their standards have been systematically lowered over the years. These guys sit in front of their sets and the gamma rays eat the white cells of their brains out!

Television Watching, Cells, Years

Man was made in God`s image. Do you really think God has red hair and glasses?

Men, Thinking, Glasses

I've never dated a fictional character before. The closest I ever came was an Italian.

Character, Italian, Fictional Character

At the trial Stubbs chose to act as his own lawyer, but a conflict over his fee led to ill feelings.

Funny, Humorous, Feelings

Woody Allen (2007). “Mere Anarchy”, Random House Incorporated

There are worse things than death. Many of them playing at a theater near you.

Theater

Interview with Walter Bendix Schönflies Benjamin, stanfordpress.typepad.com. 1985.

... years of insanity have made this guy crazy!

Funny, Crazy, Humor

"Don't Drink the Water", 1994.

When the Academy called, I panicked. I thought they might want their Oscars back and the pawn shop has been out of business for a while.

Business, Want, Oscars

In New York State they have a strange law that says you can't get a divorce unless you can prove adultery - and it's weird, because the Ten Commandments say 'Thou shalt not commit adultery.' But New York State says you have to. Well, finally, what happened was that my wife committed adultery for me. She's always been more mechanically inclined than I have.

New York, Divorce, Law

Reality may not be the best of all possible worlds, but it's still the only place where you can get a decent steak.

Reality, World, May

My grandfather was a very insignificant man, actually. At his funeral his hearse followed the other cars.

Men, Car, Funeral

I have no regard for that kind of ceremony. I just don't think they know what they're doing. When you see who wins those things-or who doesn't win them-you can see how meaningless this Oscar thing is.

Winning, Thinking, Oscars

"Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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