Fun Quotes - Page 50

Here cometh April again, and as far as I can see the world hath more fools in it than ever.

All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height.

When you discard arrogance, complexity, and a few other things that get in the way, sooner or later you will discover that simple, childlike, and mysterious secret known to those of the Uncarved Block: Life is Fun.

Confidence is what you have before you understand the problem.

At the age of six I wanted to be a cook. At seven I wanted to be Napoleon. And my ambition has been growing steadily ever since.

Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired.

The problem with life is, by the time you can read women like a book, your library card has expired.

I have always felt a gift diamond shines so much better than one you buy for yourself.

Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion. I myself prefer to laugh, since there is less cleaning up to do afterward.

If you haven't seen your wife smile at a traffic cop, you haven't seen her smile her prettiest.

It is fun to be alive. It's a hell of a lot better than being dead.

A lady's imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony in a moment.

Fear plays an interesting role in our lives. How dare we let it motivate us. How dare we let it into our decision-making, into our livelihoods, into our relationships. It's funny, isn't it? We take a day a year to dress up in costumes and celebrate fear.

My wife Mary and I have been married for forty-seven years and not once have we had an argument serious enough to consider divorce; murder, yes, but divorce, never.

Honestly, woman, you call yourself our mother?

Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples.

I like joy; I want to be joyous; I want to have fun on the set; I want to wear beautiful clothes and look pretty. I want to smile and I want to make people laugh. And that's all I want. I like it. I like being happy. I want to make others happy.

Money was never a big motivation for me, except as a way to keep score. The real excitement is playing the game.

If they took all the drugs, nicotine, alcohol and caffeine off the market for six days, they'd have to bring out the tanks to control you.

The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history. I mean in this century's history. But we all lived in this century. I didn't live in this century.

The sun and moon shine on all without partiality.

Unless we take action on climate change, future generations will be roasted, toasted, fried and grilled.

Our first and last love is self-love.

Everyone has favorite criminals. Mine are pimps. We can all rob a bank; we can all sell drugs. Being a pimp is a whole other thing.

Sometimes I lie awake at night, and ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.'