Fun Quotes - Page 49

It was impossible to get a conversation going, everybody was talking too much.

Old age is like everything else. To make a success of it, you've got to start young.

Folks, I don't trust children. They're here to replace us.

I had the right to remain silent... but I didn't have the ability.

The function of sociology, as of every science, is to reveal that which is hidden.

If there is a 50-50 chance that something can go wrong, then 9 times out of ten it will.

Stress is an ignorant state. It believes that everything is an emergency.

Love loves to love love.

Isn’t making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?

Without memory, there is no healing. Without forgiveness, there is no future.

The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history.

It would be nice to spend billions on schools and roads, but right now that money is desperately needed for political ads.

Do something wonderful, people may imitate it.

A joke is a very serious thing.

I used to be indecisive but now I am not quite sure

To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer.

I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.

I bought a seven-dollar pen because I always lose pens and I got sick of not caring.

Today I will do something just for the fun of it. I will find something to do that's just for me and I won't worry about what I should be doing. I will learn how to make myself feel good and enjoy life to the fullest.

Donuts. Is there anything they can't do?

Don't let schooling interfere with your education.

The best time for you to hold your tongue is the time you feel you must say something or bust.

The competitor to be feared is one who never bothers about you at all, but goes on making his own business better all the time.

I think we should take Iraq and Iran and combine them into one country and call it Irate. All the pissed off people live in one place and get it over with.

A stockbroker urged me to buy a stock that would triple its value every year. I told him, 'At my age, I don't even buy green bananas.'