Fun Quotes - Page 98

You know why the French hate us so much? Thay gave us the croissant. And you know what we did with it? We turned it into our croissandwich, thank you very much.

Travel far enough, you meet yourself.

After I told my wife that black underwear turned me on, she didn't wash my Y-fronts for a month.

A dog desires affection more than its dinner. Well - almost.

The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found.

Inside me there's a thin person struggling to get out, but I can usually sedate him with four or five cupcakes.

Everyone should have enough money to get plastic surgery

We had to break up, though. We wanted different things - like he wanted kids and I wanted him to hear.

It is undeniable that every human being is entitled to living space, daily bread, and the protection of the law as a common birthright; these are fundamentals and should not be handed out as an act of charity.

In America any boy may become President, and I suppose it's just one of the risks he takes.

Sex is the most fun you can have without laughing.

Only when the tide goes out do you discover who's been swimming naked.

Why pay a dollar for a bookmark? Why not use the dollar for a bookmark?

The decathlon is nine Mickey Mouse events and the 1500 metres.

Play because it's fun, and not to become a pro. If your goal is to become pro, the best way to realize that is by loving what you do.

I looked up and saw the shape of a heart made by the silhouette of Ben Affleck and Matt Damon kissing.

In my circle of friends, I've always been loud and funny and talkative. But as soon as I step out of that circle, I get very quiet and introspective. I don't want the spotlight on me.

My father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet.

Sometimes you got to specifically go out of your way to get into trouble. It's called fun.

We have so much time and so little to do. Strike that, reverse it.

Morality is simply the attitude we adopt towards people whom we personally dislike.

If you don't want to work, you have to work to earn enough money so that you won't have to work.

It's always darkest before the dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.

Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.

The standard four food groups are based on American agricultural lobbies. Why do we have a milk group? Because we have a National Dairy Council. Why do we have a meat group? Because we have an extremely powerful meat lobby.