Fun Quotes - Page 100

You can’t make everybody laugh. You gotta just do what you think is funny. Just be obstreperous to everybody.

Having a little fun at my work does not make me any less of an artist.

Dear America, I suppose we should introduce ourselves: We're South Louisiana...You probably already know that we talk funny and listen to strange music and eat things you'd probably hire an exterminator to get out of your yard. We dance even if there's no radio. We drink at funerals. We talk too much and laugh too loud and live too large and, frankly, we're suspicious of others who don't.

Have fun, even if it’s not the same kind of fun everyone else is having.

I saw this sign posted once, it said, "Blasting Zone Ahead." Wow. Shouldn't that read: "Road Closed?" What do you mean there's a blasting zone? What am I supposed to do? "Hey-uh, you might wanna buckle up. Blasting zone coming up. Yeah. Just saw the sign. Put the helmets on back there! Yeah I think we're- (Pow!)- Oh! We're getting close! (Pow!)- Oh! This is gonna be a bad blasting zone! Remember that last one-we lost Billy?"

Mocking a woman is like drinking too much wine. It may be fun for a short time, but the hangover is hell.

Janetty tried to dive through the window to escape, what an act of cowardice.

There is nothing in the world I wouldn't do for (Bob) Hope, and there is nothing he wouldn't do for me ... We spend our lives doing nothing for each other.

Know what's weird? Day by day, nothing seems to change. But pretty soon, everything's different.

I'm proud to be paying taxes in the United States. The only thing is - I could be just as proud for half the money

Doctor just told me I can't have kids. I asked for a second opinion. He said, Why? No one's gonna to let you take kids from this hospital.

Not knowing what will happen makes life fun.

I won`t cry for you, my mascara`s too expensive

The difference between screwing around and science is writing it down.

Sometimes people deserve a high five, in the face, with a chair.

Last night somebody broke into my apartment and replaced everything with exact duplicates... When I pointed it out to my roommate, he said, "Do I know you?

Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a racing car not called a racist?

Wind is to us what money is to life on shore.

Absolute perfection is here and now, not in some future, near or far. The secret is in action - here and now. It is your behavior that blinds you to yourself. Disregard whatever you think yourself to be and act as if you were absolutely perfect - whatever your idea of perfection may be. All you need is courage.

In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.

I can't control the wind but I can adjust the sail.

When you're in love it's the most glorious two and a half days of your life.

Concentration is the ability to think about absolutely nothing when it is absolutely necessary.

People do not deserve to have good writing, they are so pleased with bad.

What is a weed? A plant whose virtues have never been discovered.