Humorous Quotes - Page 19

I have often been downcast, but never in despair; I regard our hiding as a dangerous adventure, romantic and interesting at the same time. In my diary I treat all the privations as amusing. I have made up my mind now to lead a different life from other girls and, later on, different from ordinary housewives. My start has been so very full of interest, and that is the sole reason why I have to laugh at the humorous side of the most dangerous moments.

A deranged person is supposed to have the strength of ten men. I have the strength of one small boy... with polio.

I should go to Paris and jump off of the Eiffel Tower. If I took the Concorde, I could be dead three hours earlier.

Disclaimer: If anyone disagrees with anything I say, I am quite prepared to not only retract it, but also to deny under oath I ever said it.

Japan is our rival, not our enemy. Japan is a competitor... Bashing a Toyota won't make a better car.

Well, I would - if they realized that we - again if - if we led them back to that stalemate only because our retaliatory power, our seconds, or strike at them after our first strike, would be so destructive they they couldn't afford it, that would hold them off.

New York has always been going to hell but somehow it never gets there.

There ought to be a room in every house to swear in. It's dangerous to have to repress an emotion like that.

I'm a woman of very few words, but lots of action.

I like to be as diverse as possible. I think the humorous side and the serious side are both elements of my personality. It's what makes me who I am and if I was to neglect either one of those sides and just focus on one of them, it wouldn't be the full spectrum of my personality.

The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman.

I shall write a book some day about the appropriateness of names. Geoffrey Chaucer has a ribald ring, as is proper and correct, and Alexander Pope was inevitably Alexander Pope. Colley Cibber was a silly little man without much elegance and Shelley was very Percy and very Bysshe.

I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them.

Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.

Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.

There's one thing about baldness, it's neat.

Baseball is very big with my people. It figures. It's the only way we can get to shake a bat at a white man without starting a riot.

The Japanese eat, sleep, and breathe golf; the only thing they don't do is actually play it, because to get on a course, you have to make a reservation roughly 137 years in advance, which means that by the time you actually get to the first tee you are deceased. Of course, in golf this is not really a handicap.

A diary with no drawings of me in it? Where are the torrid fantasies? The romance covers?

We flew over to England by the same route Churchill took. It was easy. All we had to do was follow the cigar ashes.

When it's three o'clock in New York, it's still 1938 in London.

A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats.

"There are one or two elementary rules to be observed in the way of handling patients," he remarked, seating himself on the table and swinging his legs. "The most obvious is that you must never let them see that you want them. It should be pure condescension on your part seeing them at all; and the more difficulties you throw in the way of it, the more they think of it. Break your patients in early, and keep them well to heel."

To be ignorant of one's ignorance is the malady of the ignorant.

Nobody goes there anymore. It's too crowded.