Sarcastic Quotes - Page 4

What's on your mind, if you will allow the overstatement.

Oh, look at me! I'm making people happy! I'm the Magical Man from Happy-Land, in a gumdrop house on Lollipop Lane! Oh, by the way, I was being sarcastic.

Love is only a dirty trick played on us to achieve continuation of the species.

I can resist everything except temptation.

It is one of the superstitions of the human mind to have imagined that virginity could be a virtue.

Facts are stubborn, but statistics are more pliable.

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason.

A man's face is his autobiography. A woman's face is her work of fiction.

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.

If you want a guarantee, buy a toaster.

Political correctness is tyranny with manners.

History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all other alternatives.

A fool and his money are soon elected.

When a hunter is in a tree stand with high moral values and with the proper hunting ethics and richer for the experience, that hunter is 20 feet closer to God.

If you love someone set them free. If they come back, set them on fire.

I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, 'Where's the self-help section?' She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.

While [the Arians], like men sprung from a dunghill, truly "spoke from the earth" [Jn. 3:31], the bishops [of Nicea], not having invented their phrases for themselves, but having testimony from their fathers, wrote as they did. For ancient bishops, of the great Rome and our city [i.e., Alexandria, Egypt, where Athanasius was bishop], some 130 years ago, wrote and censured those who said that the Son was a creature and not consubstantial with the Father.

Isn’t making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?

I want either less corruption, or more chance to participate in it.

A dame that knows the ropes isn't likely to get tied up.

If they took all the drugs, nicotine, alcohol and caffeine off the market for six days, they'd have to bring out the tanks to control you.

The clear problem of the outlawing of insult is that too many things can be interpreted as such. Criticism, ridicule, sarcasm, merely stating an alternative point of view to the orthodoxy, can be interpreted as insult.

A dictatorship would be a heck of a lot easier, there's no question about it.

Abstract art: a product of the untalented sold by the unprincipled to the utterly bewildered.