Witty Quotes - Page 19

I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends told me she was in labor for 36 hours. I don't even want to do anything that feels good for 36 hours.

Children begin by loving their parents; after a time they judge them; rarely, if ever, do they forgive them.

Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination.

I'm going to show you the real New York - witty, smart, and international - like any metropolis. Tell me this: where in Europe can you find old Hungary, old Russia, old France, old Italy? In Europe you're trying to copy America, you're almost American. But here you'll find Europeans who immigrated a hundred years ago - and we haven't spoiled them. Oh, Gio! You must see why I love New York. Because the whole world's in New York.

A man reserves his true and deepest love not for the species of woman in whose company he finds himself electrified and enkindled, but for that one in whose company he may feel tenderly drowsy.

TV is chewing gum for the eyes.

A pessimist is a person who has had to listen to too many optimists.

Doesn't expecting the unexpected make the unexpected expected?

Everything that used to be a sin is now a disease.

When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity.

In war it does not matter who is right, but who is left.

No one can earn a million dollars honestly.

A little sincerity is a dangerous thing, and a great deal of it is absolutely fatal.

Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.

Luck is the residue of design.

Responsible, who wants to be responsible? Whenever something bad happens, it's always, who's responsible for this?

You have to count on living every single day in a way you believe will make you feel good about your life - so that if it were over tomorrow, you'd be content with yourself.

Write drunk; edit sober.

Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so.

I choose a block of marble and chop off whatever I don't need.

It's a kind of spiritual snobbery that makes people think they can be happy without money.

I'm not anti-social. I'm just not social.

I'm afraid of the dark,and suspicious of the light.

If God exists, I hope he has a good excuse.

I'm not a real movie star. I've still got the same wife I started out with twenty-eight years ago.