Bob Hope Quotes - Page 5

Ronald Reagan is not a typical politician because he doesn't know how to lie, cheat, and steal. He's always had an agent for that.

Television. That's where movies go when they die.

Take nine strokes off your score. Skip the last hole.

We had a very successful trip to Russia. We made it back.

Dying is to be avoided because it can ruin your whole career.

In his prime, the young comic walked onto a stage with the confidence of a man who owned it, and by the time he walked off, he did.

If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf.

Sure Vietnam is a dirty war. I've never heard of a clean one.

She spoke perfect English, which led to considerable trouble. She couldn't understand us at all.

Jack Benny really liked my book. I know because he called me up from the library and told me.

I like to play in the low 70's. If it gets any hotter than that I'll stay in the bar!

I left England when I was four because I found out I could never be King.

Today's ballroom dances like the swim, the frug, the chicken and the monkey are really nervous disorders set to music.

Free speech isn't dead in Germany and Italy, merely the speakers.

Congress may be going home for the holidays soon. How can you beat a Christmas gift like that?

England occupies a warm spot in my affections. It was the scene of my greatest performance. I was born there.

I ruined my hands in the ring. The referee kept stepping on them.

Kids are wonderful, but I like mine barbecued.

The Concorde is great. It gives you three extra hours to find your luggage.

Kissing is like drinking tea with a tea strainer, you can never get enough.

The only thing chicken about Israel is their soup.

A James Cagney love scene is one where he lets the other guy live.

At the Academy Award Dinners all the actors and actresses in Hollywood gather around to see what someone else thinks about their acting besides their press agents.

Every Naval vessel has a contingent of Marines aboard. After all, the Sailors have to have someone to dance with.

Democrats have an answer to the unemployment problem. They're all running for the Presidency.