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P. J. ORourke Quotes - Page 18

All Quotes Addiction Alcohol Appearance Art Authority Boat Cancer Capitalism Caring Character Charity Children Church Coffee College Comedy Communism Cooking Country Culture Dating Death Debate Democracy Divorce Drinking Dying Earth Effort Environment Exercise Family Fashion Food Free Market Fun Funny Giving Golf Growth Health Heart Heaven History Home House Inspirational Journalism Killing Language Liberalism Liberty Life Loss Love Luck Lying Mom Money Morning Office Past Pleasure Politics Pollution Poverty Purpose Quality Reading Responsibility Running Sailing Satire School Sloth Smoking Socialism Sports Students Stupidity Style Taxes Trade Virtue Waiting War Wealth Wife Wine Worry Writing

Iran and Iraq have been at war for five years now. The traditional present for a fifth anniversary is wood. Here's a gift suggestion: a big stick to beat some goddamned sense into their heads.

Iran and Iraq have been at war for five years now. The traditional present for a fifth anniversary is wood. Here's a gift suggestion: a big stick to beat some goddamned sense into their heads.

War, Iraq, Iran

"Year in Review". Rolling Stone, December 19, 1985.

Jewishness cropped up and has never successfully been put down since.

"Republican Party Reptile". Bok by P. J. O'Rourke, 1987.

I've always figured that if God wanted us to go to church a lot He'd have given us bigger behinds to sit on and smaller heads to think with.

Funny, Humorous, Thinking

P.J. O'Rourke (2012). “Holidays in Hell”, p.88, Atlantic Books Ltd

There isn't much room for an outsider point of view in print any more.

Views, Rooms, Outsiders

This is the most elaborate and luxurious method of convincing others that you can cook. Take everybody out on your yacht until they're green in the face. Then you can rave for weeks about your sauce marinara and no one will gainsay you.

Funny, Sailing, Green

P. J. O'Rourke (1987). “The Bachelor Home Companion: A Practical Guide to Keeping House Like a Pig”, Pocket

The larger the German body, the smaller the German bathing suit and the louder the German voice issuing German demands and German orders to everybody who doesn't speak German. For this, and several other reasons, Germany is known as 'the land where Israelis learned their manners'.

Order, Land, Voice

P.J. O'Rourke (2012). “Holidays in Hell”, p.15, Atlantic Books Ltd

The Greenpeace booth at all the rock and roll shows nowadays are akin to the old sorcerers who used to stand in the middle of villages warning of danger, 'When night wolf swallows mother moon, there will be great famine.'

Mother, Night, Moon

Each child is biologically required to have a mother. Fatherhood is a well-regarded theory, but motherhood is a fact.

Mom, Mother, Children

Who, other than a crazy person, does anything besides hang up on a robo-call? Any call, any person, anywhere, under any circumstances.

Crazy, Doe, Circumstances

You may be surprised to discover you're rich, especially if you're broke.

Vaccines, May, Rich

There is parody, when you make fun of people who are smarter than you; satire, when you make fun of people who are richer than you; and burlesque, when you make fun of both while taking your clothes off.

Fun, Clothes, People

P.J. O'Rourke (2015). “Thrown Under the Omnibus”, p.465, Atlantic Books Ltd

Now for good or ill, California is the place where trends tend to be set in Western civilization - if civilization indeed it is. California, for several generations now, has been the newest, biggest, most experimental place in the newest, biggest, most experimental part of liberal Western capitalism - which is itself a new experiment for mankind.

Civilization, California, America

No humorist is under any obligation to provide answers and probably if you were to delve into the literary history of humour it's probably all about not providing answers because the humorist essentially says: this is the way things are.

Answers, Way, Humour

"PJ O'Rourke - the rightwinger it's OK for lefties to like". Interview with Paul Harris, www.theguardian.com. October 29, 2010.

The Soviet constitution guarantees everyone a job. A pretty scary idea, I'd say.

Jobs, Ideas, Scary

P. J. O'Rourke (2016). “Republican Party Reptile: The Confessions, Adventures, Essays and (Other) Outrages of . . .”, p.41, Pan Macmillan

Violence is interesting. This is a great obstacle to world peace and also to more thoughtful television programming.

Thoughtful, Interesting, Television

P. J. O'Rourke (2007). “All the Trouble in the World: The Lighter Side of Overpopulation, Famine, Ecological Disaster, Ethnic Hatred, Plague, and Poverty”, p.249, Grove/Atlantic, Inc.

If the Japanese want to be taken seriously as world financial powers, they'd better quit using the same tailor as variety show chimps.

Funny, Humorous, Taken

P.J. O'Rourke (2012). “Holidays in Hell”, p.15, Atlantic Books Ltd

[Friedrich] Hayek is not protesting that things like child labor and stuff are good. He's just trying to show that when government undertakes to make everything good for everybody, this is what happens. And he addresses it to socialists of all parties.

Children, Party, Government

Source: www.avclub.com

As long as we are on firm moral ground, as long as we're caring about other people, these are legitimate worries. The minute that we start protecting our own interests in the name of these worries and saying, "Oh, we have to make sure that only Ford Motor Company manufactures cars, because we can't be sure that the cars in other countries are being made quite up to our point of view," we're economically off base, and, of course, we're moral hypocrites, too.

Country, Hypocrite, Caring

I went back to bumming around New York, writing freelance stuff for Car & Driver and such.

New York, Writing, Car

Source: www.avclub.com

I had really not been out of the United States much, except for Mexico. I thought, "Jesus Christ, this [Russia] is like a whole new world." Instead of writing Michael Jackson one-glove jokes, all I had to do was go to these weird places and keep my eyes and ears open.

Jesus, Writing, Eye

Source: www.avclub.com

Nothing about economic growth in the United States over the course of the past 40, 50 years, during which time this has been continually happening, would indicate that we are being harmed in an overall sense by this.

Past, Years, Growth

With the war in Iraq, I had the cooperation of the Department of Defense. Kuwait was pretty eager to get American journalists in there, to show us what a wonderful place they are, and what great allies they are to America, even though they didn't actually fight in the war.

War, Fighting, Kuwait

Source: www.avclub.com

Popular culture has become engorged, broadening and thickening until it's the only culture anyone notices.

Culture, Popular Culture

Pollution is a problem, and there's the whole problem of the spoiling of the commons, but we've addressed the pollution problem on a variety of different levels in a variety of ways, and it's worked pretty well.

Different, Levels, Way

Source: www.avclub.com

The very existence of the bicycle is an offense to reason and wisdom.

Reason, Existence, Offense

P. J. O'Rourke (2015). “Thrown Under the Omnibus: A Reader”, p.95, Grove/Atlantic, Inc.

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