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P. J. ORourke Quotes - Page 17

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I started reading Hunter S. Thompson when I was in college.

I started reading Hunter S. Thompson when I was in college.

Reading, College, Hunters

Distracting a politician from governing is like distracting a bear from eating your baby.

Baby, Government, Politics

P. J. O'Rourke (2007). “Age and Guile Beat Youth, Innocence, and a Bad Haircut”, p.268, Grove/Atlantic, Inc.

The interesting thing about staring down a gun barrel is how small the hole is where the bullet comes out, yet what a big difference it would make in your social schedule.

Gun, Differences, Interesting

P.J. O'Rourke (2012). “Holidays in Hell”, p.20, Atlantic Books Ltd

I try to ONLY ridicule people who's efforts are sincere. Very little trouble has been caused in the world by insincere efforts. An occasional seduction maybe. There were very few insincere Stalinists or Nazis.

People, Effort, Political

I figured if I could put together being funny about stuff and actual events, maybe I could do something that wasn't being done much. Because the reporters that I met out there were funny, and they had hilarious stories that just didn't fit in the AP/UPI/New York Times foreign-correspondent style. They couldn't use the things they had. But I could.

New York, Style, Together

Source: www.avclub.com

Neither conservatives nor humorists believe man is good. But left-wingers do.

Believe, Men, Left

P. J. O'Rourke (2016). “Republican Party Reptile: The Confessions, Adventures, Essays and (Other) Outrages of . . .”, p.7, Pan Macmillan

In case we have to shoot Democrats. It happened during the Civil War, and it could happen again.

War, Gun, Cases

My wife and I both come from Irish families. There are two kinds of Irish families: the hitting kind and the kidding kind. If you're fortunate - and both of us are - you come from the kidding kind of Irish family.

Two, Wife, Hitting

I realised the bohemian life was not for me. I would look around at my friends, living like starving artists, and wonder, 'Where's the art?' They weren't doing anything. And there was so much interesting stuff to do, so much fun to be had... maybe I could even quit renting.

Art, Fun, Interesting

Taxi drivers all over the world, by the way, are under Newspaper Guild contract to give easy quotes to foreign correspondents.

Funny, Giving, World

P.J. O'Rourke (2012). “Holidays in Hell”, p.61, Atlantic Books Ltd

Seriously. It was running out at Rolling Stone. First of all, they didn't feel the need for a dissident conservative voice in a world where certain conservative aspects had become intellectually dominant. I would actually argue against that, but on the surface of it, in the [Bill] Clinton years the market economy triumphed, certain libertarian ideas became ordinary, and certain early-20th-century ideas about centralization of government and economic planning and socialism with a small "s" had obviously gone out the window. The Cold War was over, blah blah blah.

Running, War, Government

Source: www.avclub.com

In the wake of Animal House, all of us at the Lampoon had a lot of Hollywood opportunities. We could definitely get people to return phone calls.

Animal, Opportunity, Phones

Source: www.avclub.com

When Adam Smith was being incomprehensible, he didn't have the luxury of brief, snappy technical terms as a shorthand for incoherence.

Luxury, Adam, Term

P.J. O'Rourke (2009). “On The Wealth of Nations: A Book that Shook the World”, p.33, Atlantic Books Ltd

Guns are always the best method for a private suicide. They are more stylish looking than single-edged razor blades and natural gas has got so expensive. Drugs are too chancy. You might miscalculate the dosage and just have a good time.

Suicide, Gun, Drug

P. J. O'Rourke (2007). “Modern Manners: An Etiquette Book for Rude People”, p.223, Grove/Atlantic, Inc.

For toddlers I suggest leaving their mittens on year-round, indoors and out. That way they can't get into aspirin bottles, liquor cabinets, or boxes of kitchen matches.

Funny, Baby, Children

P. J. O'Rourke (1987). “The Bachelor Home Companion: A Practical Guide to Keeping House Like a Pig”, Pocket

It's better to make fun of yourself because you've always got someone around to make fun of, and they can't sue you.

Fun

We also have a lot of the same influences - we both read a lot of the beatniks. And yet what we actually do is almost exactly the opposite. His [ Hunter S. Thompson] political stuff is just wonderful, but basically nothing happens.

Opposites, Political, Hunters

Source: www.avclub.com

Oh, God. The Sixties are coming back. Well I've got a 12-gauge double-barreled duck gun chambered for three-inch Magnum shells. And - speaking strictly for this retired hippie and former pinko beatnik - if the Sixties head my way, they won't get past the porch steps. They will be history. Which, for chrissakes, is what they're supposed to be.

Hippie, Gun, Past

There is that kind of happiness. There is the love and marriage and family kind of happiness, which is exceedingly boring to describe but nonetheless is important to have and dreadful not to have.

Important, Love And Marriage, Kind

"PJ O'Rourke - the rightwinger it's OK for lefties to like" by Paul Harris, www.theguardian.com. October 29, 2010.

I'm certainly not fearful.

Fearful

Source: www.avclub.com

The purpose of a funeral service is to comfort the living. It is important at a funeral to display excessive grief. This will show others how kind-hearted and loving you are and their improved opinion of you will be very comforting.

Death, Grief, Loving You

P. J. O'Rourke (1983). “Modern manners”, Dell Books

Passover is my idea of a perfect holiday. Dear God, when you're handing out plagues of darkness, locusts, hail, boils, flies, lice, frogs, and cattle murrain, and turning the Nile to blood, and smiting firstborn, give me a pass, and tell me when it's over.

Funny, God, Humorous

P.J. O'Rourke (2009). “Peace Kills”, p.37, Atlantic Books Ltd

One of the enduring problems with certain societies in the world - and this is certainly true of a lot of places in the Middle East - is that the capacity for self-governance and self-organizing just isn't there. It has to do with history.

Self, Middle East, World

Watching Republicans in Washington is like watching lemmings, if lemmings jumped into cesspools instead of off cliffs. Splash! There goes Mark Foley!

Lemmings, Cliffs, Republican

"What's That Smell?". www.weeklystandard.com. October 23, 2006.

We have no one to blame for the Kennedys but ourselves. We took the Kennedys to heart of our own accord. And it is my opinion that we did it not because we respected them or thought what they proposed was good, but because they were pretty. We, the electorate, were smitten by this handsome, vivacious family. . . . We wanted to hug their golden tousled heads to our dumpy breasts.

Heart, Hug, Vivacious

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