Men own basketball teams. Every year cheerleaders' outfits get tighter and briefer, and players' shorts get baggier and longer.
Men don't get cellulite. God might just be a man.
Men would like monogamy better if it sounded less like monotony.
Most women are introspective: "Am I in love? Am I emotionally and creatively fulfilled?" Most men are outrospective: "Did my team win? How's my car?"
Men don't feel the urge to get married as quickly as women do because their clothes all button and zip in the front. Women's dresses usually button and zip in the back. We need men emotionally and sexually, but we also need men to help us get dressed.
Men reach their sexual peak at eighteen. Women reach theirs at thirty-five. Do you get the feeling that God is playing a practical joke?
Don't try to teach men how to do anything in public. They can learn in private; in public they have to know.
Men love to be the first to read the newspaper in the morning. Not being the first is upsetting to their psyches.
I burned sixty calories. That should take care of a peanut I had in 1962.
Her idea of a romantic setting is one that has a diamond in it. If you feel the need to marry a doctor, I suggest a dermatologist. Good hours, free Retin-A.
If it's attention you want, don't get involved with a man during play-off season.
All men think that they're nice guys. Some of them are not. Contact me for a list of names.
When four or more men get together, they talk about sports.
If you like easygoing, monogamous men, stay away from billionaires.
Men have an easier time buying bathing suits. Women have two types: depressing and more depressing. Men have two types: nerdy and not nerdy.
Yes, I've now got this nice little apartment in New York, one of those L-shaped ones. Unfortunately, it's a lower case l.
It wasn't that no one asked me to the prom, it was that no one would tell me where it was.
Impulse buying is not macho. Men rarely call the Home Shopping Network.
No man is charming all of the time. Even Cary Grant is on record saying he wished he could be Cary Grant.
All men would still really like to own a train set.
Men are less sentimental than women. No man has ever seen the movie THE WAY WE WERE twice, voluntarily.
Men are sensitive in strange ways. If a man has built a fire and the last log does not burn, he will take it personally.
Men who are going bald often wear baseball caps.
Only men who have worn a ski suit understand how complicated it is for a woman to go to the bathroom when she's wearing a jumpsuit.
