Jokes Quotes - Page 5

Is everything a joke to you?” I asked. He dabbed his tongue to his lip again. “Not everything.” “Like what?” “You.

Most of my comedy is accidental, I would say. If I don't know what the joke is, I'm going to play it better than if I do.

I make a lot of jokes about vegetarians in my act but most of them don't have the strength to protest.

My friends always joke that I run on batteries.

Larry David finds a way to make jokes about the Holocaust. It would never have occurred to me. And it was funny.

My best jokes are so cheap. All I do is say things sarcastically.

I make jokes. That's what I do.

Existentialists are monumentally and monotonously serious; they don't like to joke.

We have to joke about it because the alternative is to be scared

The inside jokes weren't jokes anymore. they had become stories

I can't crack jokes because I don't have any.

I suppose every time [something bad happens], I have that instinct to make that joke that distracts.

The Crimean War is one of the bad jokes of history.

I like there to be a joke in practically every photo I take. Nobody has the right to make photography boring.

All these jokes have been pre-approved as funny by me.

A joke isn't a joke until someone laughs.

Jokes are one of the things that bind the culture. If you can't have jokes about everybody in society and if one group is hedged off and protected then that group can never truly be integrated.

Barack Obama is like the old joke about boats. The two best days of owning a boat are the day you buy it and the day you sell it.

You can dissect a joke just as you can a frog. But it tends to die on you.

One can make a joke, but one can't be one.

I was worried on a personal level because I wanted to be slightly taller than I am, ideally. But I've now accepted it. Basically, I came to the conclusion a while ago that you can either be really bitter about it or you can make loads of funny jokes.

The older you get, the funnier fart jokes are.

Clumsy jesting is no joke.

Some one is generally sure to be the sufferer by a joke.

That sun is lookin' good... and hot! Get it? Hilarious! My joke writers are awesome.