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George Carlin Quotes - Page 39

All Quotes Abortion Age Aging Airplane Alcohol Art Atheism Atheist Balance Baseball Beer Belief Boundaries Bullshit Cancer Children Choices Church Comedy Cooking Country Crime Culture Cynicism Death Drinking Dying Earth Effort Environment Evil Family Feelings Fighting Food Football Friday Fun Funny Getting High Giving Giving Up God Golf Growth Guilt Hard Work Hate Hatred Heart Hell Holiday Home Honesty House Humanity Hurt Hypocrisy Inspiration Inspirational Jesus Judging Killing Language Laughter Life Lying Memories Military Money Morning Mountain Observation Office Pain Past Peace Perspective Philosophy Pleasure Police Pot Prayer Quality Rain Reading Religion Running Safety Sarcasm School Science Selling Shame Sleep Smile Smoking Soul Speed Sports Talent Team Time Today Travel Truth Values Vegetarian Voting Waiting Wall War Water Wife Work Worry Worship Writing

I gravitated toward being a funny guy. I liked the radio comedians. I lived in the Golden Age of radio, and the Golden Age of television came along when I was still in my early teens.

I gravitated toward being a funny guy. I liked the radio comedians. I lived in the Golden Age of radio, and the Golden Age of television came along when I was still in my early teens.

Guy, Comedian, Age

Source: mavericksofthemind.com

I was trying to get out of the night clubs and was thinking maybe I'll go to the colleges now; that's where you can speak your mind.

Night, College, Thinking

The mayfly lives only one day. And sometimes it rains.

Humorous, Rain, One Day

George Carlin (2002). “Napalm & Silly Putty”, Hyperion

I'm certainly a skeptic. I always quibble with people.

People, Skeptic

"Stand-up comic - Interview". The Progressive Vol. 65 Nbr., July 7, 2001.

Brenda [Carlin] went into therapy and I soon joined her. First we put the drugs behind us, then we began serious work on our relationship. And, in time, we got well together.She just drove through a hotel lobby. Now, that's bottoming out.

Hotel Lobby, Drug, Together

Source: reprints.longform.org

Nothing you see on the Internet is mine unless it comes from one of my albums, books, HBO specials, or appeared on my website.

Book, Technology, Hbo

I think self-expression is present at all times, and whether or not you're talking about the outside world or your responses to it depends on the moment and the subject.

Thinking, Self, Expression

Source: www.psychologytoday.com

I'm kinda like herpes, I just keep coming back.

Coming Back, Herpes

"George Carlin... It's Bad for Ya!", www.imdb.com. 2008.

And, of course, the funniest food: "kumquats". I don't even bring them home anymore. I sit there laughing and they go to waste.

Home, Laughing, Waste

"A Place for My Stuff" by George Carlin, ("Fussy Eater, Pt. 1"), 1981.

The ending of my experience with cocaine came in a periodic way. I would get high less frequently, I would use smaller amounts, and I would do coke for less periods of time. And that process just kept increasing and increasing until I wasn't using it at all. I didn't go on a program anywhere. I didn't join an organization or detox anywhere. I just slowly tapered off until it was gone. That was also true of my heavy pot use. I just tapered off until there was almost no use at all. And the same thing was true of drinking tons of beer.

Drinking, Beer, Organization

I hope I'm beginning a new cycle of energy and creativity. If so, it'll really be my third career. The first was as a straight comic in the Sixties. The second was as a counterculture performer in the Seventies. The third will be...well, that's for others to judge.

Creativity, Careers, Judging

Source: reprints.longform.org

What I hated most was seeing those priests and brothers getting so much pleasure out of inflicting pain. I wondered what was wrong with them.

Brother, Pain, Pleasure

Source: reprints.longform.org

Writing books isn't a drastic departure from writing for the stage. I've always written in the long format, five, eight, 10-minute pieces rather than one-liners, so since writing books, the process hasn't changed much. A piece in my live routine can end up as part of one of my HBO specials, and it can also end up in one of the books.

Book, Writing, Eight

I tell ya, if I hadn't chosen the career of being a performer, I think linguistics would have been a natural area that I'd have loved - to teach it, probably, Language has always fascinated me. There's a genetic inheritance there a good language gene, which I inherited [from my mother and grandfather] and she fostered that in me as he fostered that in her.

Mother, Thinking, Careers

"George Carlin confronts reality" by Todd Leopold, www.cnn.com. October 29, 2004.

An outsider longing to be on the inside is the same as the soloist longing to work in an ensemble. I get great satisfaction in being a part of the proper - for me - community. I'm uncomfortable with various social groupings and clusterings. But when I'm in the right group, doing the right thing, I get as much satisfaction out of that as anyone who does it all the time.

Community, Groups, Doe

You're really spread out now, you've got stuff all over the WORLD! You've got stuff at home, stuff in storage, stuff in Honolulu, stuff in Maui, stuff in your pockets...supply lines are getting longer and harder to maintain.

Home, Pockets, World

I think there's a little more attention to human needs than to property rights. But I don't think much of political activism. It's so shortsighted. Most people are interested in their own personal comfort. I've said that about environmentalists. I think they care about bike paths and places to park their Volvos, not the planet as an abstraction.

Thinking, Rights, People

Source: www.motherjones.com

It's difficult enough for a young person to put his soul on the line in front of a lot of drunken people without having that hanging over his head, too.

People, Soul, Lines

Source: reprints.longform.org

The only good thing about religion is the music. Because nature is filled with balances and opposites, there are always exceptions to the overall rules, whether the overall rules are bleak or otherwise. If you propound a joyous theory of existence, I will find an exception to that. If I propound a bleak theory, someone will find a joyous exception. That's just nature being nature, I think, and I don't think it offers a lot of hope. It's sort of a respite along the way.

Thinking, Opposites, Balance

"George Carlin: The Lost Interview". Interview with Rick Cusick, standard-progress.com. June 27, 2018.

When it comes to bullshit, you have to stand in awe of the all-time champion of false promises and exaggerated claims: religion... Religion easily has the greatest bullshit story ever told. Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky who watches everything you do.

Men, Sky, People

When I was in seventh grade, I was caught stealing money from the visiting team's locker room during a basketball game. So I was sent to The Brothers. That's what they called this parochial school up in Goshen, New York. I was supposed to get closer supervision there and more "masculine influence," whatever that means. But I was thrown out for telling a couple of really lame kids on the playground that I had heroin.

Basketball, Brother, New York

Source: reprints.longform.org

The patterns became even more vivid at Cardinal Hayes High School. That's when I began failing subjects and running away from home for days at a time.

Running, Home, School

Source: reprints.longform.org

My mother and her plans for my future. She had it all worked out. I would attend a nice college, then get a job in advertising. "You'll be one of those smart-looking fellows in their Madison Avenue suits." And I rebelled against [my mother] and her values and her plans for my future at every opportunity.

Mother, Jobs, Nice

Source: reprints.longform.org

The older I got, the more apparent it became that my mother was losing control over me. She fought back fiercely with black moods, silent treatments and martyrdom. And, of course, all she did was run my ass out of the house even quicker. The pressure was unbearable.

Mother, Running, Losing Control

Source: reprints.longform.org

I like to write without being stoned. I like to have a hit or two and then go punch up the writing. I just see different things and hear different things. But it's nice to be working from the base that I wrote originally and then come to it with a little buzz. I can have a little wine from time to time. I have a hit from time to time, but those are the only things I do.

Nice, Writing, Wine

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