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Mark Twain Quotes - Page 58

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Perhaps it will be simplest to throw away the tags and generalize India with one all-comprehensive name, as the Land of Wonders.

Perhaps it will be simplest to throw away the tags and generalize India with one all-comprehensive name, as the Land of Wonders.

Mark Twain
Land, Names, India
Mark Twain (2017). “MARK TWAIN: 12 Novels, 195 Short Stories, Autobiography, 10 Travel Books, 160+ Essays & Speeches (Illustrated): Including Letters & Biographies – The Complete Works of Mark Twain: The Adventures of Tom Sawyer & Huckleberry Finn, The Innocents Abroad, Yankee in King Arthur's Court, Life on the Mississippi…”, p.7898, e-artnow

The choir always tittered and whispered all through the service. There was once a church choir that was not ill-bred, but I have forgotten where it was.

Mark Twain
Church Choir, Atheism, Forgotten
Mark Twain (2012). “Mark Twain's Adventures of Tom Sawyer: The NewSouth Edition”, p.32, NewSouth Books

If you would beseech a blessing upon yourself, beware! lest without intent you invoke a curse upon a neighbor at the same time.

Mark Twain
Religious, Blessing, Neighbor
Mark Twain (2013). “Delphi Complete Works of Mark Twain (Illustrated)”, p.3180, Delphi Classics

Whenever he was out of luck and a little down-hearted, he would fall to mourning over the loss of a wonderful cat he used to own (for where women and children are not, men of kindly impulses take up with pets, for they must love something)

Mark Twain
Children, Fall, Cat
Mark Twain (2013). “Delphi Complete Works of Mark Twain (Illustrated)”, p.3504, Delphi Classics

Whose property is my body? Probably mine. I so regard it. If I experiment with it, who must be answerable? I, not the State. If I choose injudiciously, does the state die? Oh, no.

Mark Twain
Doe, Body, States
Mark Twain (2012). “Mark Twain at Your Fingertips: A Book of Quotations”, p.342, Courier Corporation

If there are no cigars in heaven, I shall not go.

Mark Twain
Funny, Humor, Heaven

There are those who imagine that the unlucky accidents of life—life's "experiences"—are in some way useful to us. I wish I could find out how. I never know one of them to happen twice. They always change off and swap around and catch you on your inexperienced side.

Mark Twain
Experience, Wish, Way
Mark Twain (2015). “Mark Twain's Essays: Top Essays”, p.181, 谷月社

I simply can't resist a cat, particularly a purring one.

Mark Twain
Cat, Purring, Purring Cats

The only people that a bank will loan money to is the very people who don't need it.

Mark Twain
People, Needs, Loan

It is easy to see that the inventor of the heaven did not originate the idea, but copied it from the show-ceremonies of some sorry little sovereign State up in the back settlements of the Orient somewhere.

Mark Twain
Sorry, Ideas, Heaven
Mark Twain, Howard G. Baetzhold, Joseph B. Mccullough (1996). “The Bible According to Mark Twain”, p.225, Simon and Schuster

There are three kinds of liars: liars, damned liars, and statisticians

Mark Twain
Liars, Three, Kind

What's the use you learning to do right , when it's troublesome to do right and it ain't no trouble to do wrong, and the wages is just the same?

Mark Twain
Use, Wages, Trouble
The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn ch. 16 (1884)

Honest poverty is a gem that even a king might be proud to call his own - but I wish to sell out

Mark Twain
Kings, Wish, Proud
Mark Twain (1994). “Mark Twain on the damned human race”

If a spectacle is going to be particularly imposing I prefer to see it through somebody else's eyes, because that man will always exaggerate. Then I can exaggerate his exaggeration, and my account of the thing will be the most impressive.

Mark Twain
Eye, Men, Copying
Mark Twain (2012). “Mark Twain at Your Fingertips: A Book of Quotations”, p.107, Courier Corporation

... an experienced, industrious, ambitious, and often quite often picturesque liar.

Mark Twain
Liars, Humorous, Ambitious

Men are easily dealt with--but when you get the women started, you are in for it, you know.

Mark Twain
Women, Men, Knows
Mark Twain (2013). “Mark Twain's Letters”, p.58, Simon and Schuster

Against a diseased imagination demonstration goes for nothing.

Mark Twain
Imagination, Atheism, Demonstration
Mark Twain (2015). “Bite-Size Twain: Wit and Wisdom from the Literary Legend”, p.34, St. Martin's Press

And I urge upon you this - which I think is wisdom - if you find you can't make seventy by any but an uncomfortable road, don't you go.

Mark Twain
Thinking, Uncomfortable, Seventies
Mark Twain (2013). “Delphi Complete Works of Mark Twain (Illustrated)”, p.7414, Delphi Classics

Wagner has some great moments, but a lot of miserable half hours.

Mark Twain
Half, Miserable, Moments

I do love compliments, yet I'm often embarrassed to say what I think to the person when I get a compliment. I so often feel that they have not gone far enough.

Mark Twain
Thinking, Gone, Compliment

In Boston they ask, how much does he know? In New York, how much is he worth? In Philadelphia, who were his parents?

Mark Twain
New York, Boston, Philadelphia
"What Paul Bourget Thinks of Us" (1895) See Disraeli 10

Experience teaches us only one thing at a time - and hardly that, in my case.

Mark Twain
Cases, Teach, One Thing At A Time
Mark Twain (2012). “Mark Twain at Your Fingertips: A Book of Quotations”, p.112, Courier Corporation

The Public is merely a multiplied 'me.'

Mark Twain
Inspiration
Mark Twain (2012). “Mark Twain at Your Fingertips: A Book of Quotations”, p.387, Courier Corporation

Geniuses are people who dash off weird, wild, incomprehensible poems with astonishing facility, & then go & get booming drunk & sleep in the gutter. Genius elevates a man to ineffable speres [sic] far above the vulgar world, & fills his soul with a regal contempt for the gross & sordid things of earth. It is probably on account of this that people who have genius do not pay their board, as a general thing.

Mark Twain
Sleep, Men, People

You know that kind of quiver that trembles around through you when you are seeing something so strange and enchanting and wonderful that it is just a fearful joy to be alive and look at it; and you know how you gaze, and your lips turn dry and your breath comes short, but you wouldn't be anywhere but there, not for the world.

Mark Twain
Joy, Looks, Alive
Mark Twain (2004). “The Mysterious Stranger and Other Stories”, p.125, Penguin

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