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P. J. ORourke Quotes - Page 14

All Quotes Addiction Alcohol Appearance Art Authority Boat Cancer Capitalism Caring Character Charity Children Church Coffee College Comedy Communism Cooking Country Culture Dating Death Debate Democracy Divorce Drinking Dying Earth Effort Environment Exercise Family Fashion Food Free Market Fun Funny Giving Golf Growth Health Heart Heaven History Home House Inspirational Journalism Killing Language Liberalism Liberty Life Loss Love Luck Lying Mom Money Morning Office Past Pleasure Politics Pollution Poverty Purpose Quality Reading Responsibility Running Sailing Satire School Sloth Smoking Socialism Sports Students Stupidity Style Taxes Trade Virtue Waiting War Wealth Wife Wine Worry Writing

Cats are to dogs what modern people are to the people we used to have. Cats are slimmer, cleaner, more attractive, disloyal, and lazy. It's easy to understand why the cat has eclipsed the dog as modern America's

Cats are to dogs what modern people are to the people we used to have. Cats are slimmer, cleaner, more attractive, disloyal, and lazy. It's easy to understand why the cat has eclipsed the dog as modern America's favorite poet. People like poets to possess the same qualities they do.

Dog, Cat, America

There is a fine line in the Third World between half a dozen customs officials waiting for you to offer them a bribe and half a dozen customs officials waiting for you to offer them a bribe so they can throw you in jail.

Jail, Waiting, Half

P. J. O'Rourke (2007). “All the Trouble in the World: The Lighter Side of Overpopulation, Famine, Ecological Disaster, Ethnic Hatred, Plague, and Poverty”, p.44, Grove/Atlantic, Inc.

Every pleasure you forgoe on Earth is a pleasure you won't get in heaven.

Heaven, Earth, Pleasure

It is very hard now to shock people into thinking about government regulation and the extent of government involvement in life.

Thinking, Government, People

Source: www.avclub.com

The Road To Serfdom was written during WWII, and basically it's an anti-Nazi, anti-communist thing, but also it's an anti-Conservative and anti-Labor-party thing aimed at the British. He was an Austrian, writing in Britain. And I feel like now, I guess, everybody pays lip service to libertarian - and, indeed, many conservative - ideas, and yet they keep moving forward with an increasingly bureaucratic state. It shows itself in all sorts of little ways.

Party, Moving, Writing

Source: www.avclub.com

Walt is dead. And, after a couple of hours at Epcot, you'll wish you were, too.

Funny, Couple, Humor

P.J. O'Rourke (2012). “Holidays in Hell”, p.157, Atlantic Books Ltd

Los Angeles is many places in one place.

Los Angeles

Source: www.avclub.com

People love to be told what they know already. It's not so much that what they say is wrong, though Ann Coulter does seem to be completely crazy.

Crazy, People, Doe

Source: www.avclub.com

I spent almost 25 years as a foreign correspondent, and the world's primary problem is poverty.

Years, World, Poverty

Source: www.avclub.com

If Disney still wants to make Epcot Center futuristic, they could do so by blowing the place up with an atom bomb.

Funny, Humor, Epcot

All change is bad. But sometimes it has to be done.

Done, Sometimes

A good bachelor drinks his dessert (and sometimes the rest of his meals). A sweet tooth is a danger signal that you're getting too much exercise and not enough cocktails.

Sweet, Exercise, Cocktails

P. J. O'Rourke (2007). “The Bachelor Home Companion: A Practical Guide to Keeping House Like a Pig”, p.59, Grove/Atlantic, Inc.

The only time a bachelor's bed is made is when it's in the factory.

Cute, Bed, Factories

Because of their cuisine, Germans don't consider farting rude. They'd certainly be out of luck if they did.

Inspirational, Rude, Luck

P. J. O'Rourke (2007). “Modern Manners: An Etiquette Book for Rude People”, p.279, Grove/Atlantic, Inc.

The Italians have had 2,000 years to fix up the Forum and just look at the place!

Inspiration, Years, Looks

A very quiet and tasteful way to be famous is to have a famous relative. Then you can not only be nothing, you can do nothing too.

Way, Comedy, Quiet

P. J. O'Rourke (2007). “Modern Manners: An Etiquette Book for Rude People”, p.10, Grove/Atlantic, Inc.

Children from the age of five to ten should watch more television. Television depicts adults as rotten SOB's given to fistfights, gunplay, and other mayhem. Kids who believe this about grownups aren't likely to argue about bedtime.

Funny, Baby, Children

P. J. O'Rourke (1987). “The Bachelor Home Companion: A Practical Guide to Keeping House Like a Pig”, Pocket

Politics should be limited in scope to ware, protection of property, and the occasional precautionary beheading of a member of the ruling class.

Class, Protection, Scope

Of course, the humans in Haiti have hope. They hope to leave.

Haiti, Having Hope, Humans

P.J. O'Rourke (2015). “Thrown Under the Omnibus”, p.455, Atlantic Books Ltd

Soldiers are not policemen, and it's very unfair, even for those soldiers who have some police training, to burden them with police duties. It's not what they're trained for, or equipped for.

Police, Soldier, Training

A nation with a goofy foreign policy needs a very serious policy of defense.

Needs, Defense, Serious

P. J. O'Rourke (2007). “Parliament of Whores: A Lone Humorist Attempts to Explain the Entire U.S. Government”, p.167, Grove/Atlantic, Inc.

The old woman was not only ugly with the ugliness age brings us all but showed signs of formidable ugliness by birth - pickle-jar chin, mainsail ears and a nose like a trigonometry problem. What's more, she had the deep frown and snit wrinkles that come from a lifetime of bad character.

Sarcastic, Character, Wrinkles

P.J. O'Rourke (2012). “Holidays in Hell”, p.145, Atlantic Books Ltd

Stay away from girls who cry a lot or who look like they get pregnant easily or have careers.

Girl, Work, Careers

P. J. O'Rourke (2010). “Driving Like Crazy: Thirty Years of Vehicular Hell-Bending, Celebrating America the Way It's Supposed To Be With an Oi”, p.23, Grove/Atlantic, Inc.

Zen martini: A martini with no vermouth at all. And no gin, either.

Food, Drinking, Alcohol

P. J. O'Rourke (1983). “Modern manners”, Dell Books

I'm a political conservative.

Political, Conservative

P. J. O'Rourke (2007). “The CEO of the Sofa”, p.190, Grove/Atlantic, Inc.

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