Authors:

A
B
C
D
E
F
G
H
I
J
K
L
M
N
O
P
Q
R
S
T
U
V
W
X
Y
Z

P. J. ORourke Quotes - Page 4

All Quotes Addiction Alcohol Appearance Art Authority Boat Cancer Capitalism Caring Character Charity Children Church Coffee College Comedy Communism Cooking Country Culture Dating Death Debate Democracy Divorce Drinking Dying Earth Effort Environment Exercise Family Fashion Food Free Market Fun Funny Giving Golf Growth Health Heart Heaven History Home House Inspirational Journalism Killing Language Liberalism Liberty Life Loss Love Luck Lying Mom Money Morning Office Past Pleasure Politics Pollution Poverty Purpose Quality Reading Responsibility Running Sailing Satire School Sloth Smoking Socialism Sports Students Stupidity Style Taxes Trade Virtue Waiting War Wealth Wife Wine Worry Writing

When a government controls both the economic power of individuals and the coercive power of the state ... this violates a fundamental rule of happy living: Never let the people with all the money and the people with all

When a government controls both the economic power of individuals and the coercive power of the state ... this violates a fundamental rule of happy living: Never let the people with all the money and the people with all the guns be the same people.

Gun, Government, People

P. J. O'Rourke (2015). “Thrown Under the Omnibus: A Reader”, p.694, Grove/Atlantic, Inc.

We're told cars cause pollution. A hundred years ago city streets were ankle deep in horse excrement. What kind of pollution do you want? Would you rather die of cancer at eighty or typhoid fever at nine?

Horse, Cancer, Years

"Age and Guile Beat Youth, Innocence, and a Bad Haircut". Book by P. J. O'Rourke, 1996.

I rarely meet a politician that I don't like personally. They are generally well endowed with charm. Therein lies the danger.

Lying, Politician, Danger

Smoking crack is a way for people who couldn't afford college to study the works of Charles Darwin.

College, People, Smoking

P. J. O'Rourke (2007). “The CEO of the Sofa”, p.173, Grove/Atlantic, Inc.

I can understand why mankind hasn't given up war. During a war you get to drive tanks through the sides of buildings and shoot foreigners - two things that are usually frowned on during peacetime.

War, Two, Tanks

"Holidays in Hell". Book by P. J. O'Rourke, 1989.

The weirder you're going to behave, the more normal you should look. It works in reverse, too. When I see a kid with three or four rings in his nose, I know there is absolutely nothing extraordinary about that person.

Kids, Three, Looks

"Biography/Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

Seriousness is stupidity sent to college.

Stupid, College, Stupidity

P. J. O'Rourke (2007). “Give War a Chance: Eyewitness Accounts of Mankind's Struggle Against Tyranny, Injustice, and Alcohol-Free Beer”, p.88, Grove/Atlantic, Inc.

The sport of skiing consists of wearing three thousand dollars worth of clothes and equipment and driving two hundred miles in the snow in order to stand around at a bar and get drunk.

Love, Sports, Order

P. J. O'Rourke (2007). “Modern Manners: An Etiquette Book for Rude People”, p.266, Grove/Atlantic, Inc.

If you spend seventy-two hours in a place you've never been, talking to people whose language you don't speak about social, political, and economic complexities you don't understand, and you come back as the world's biggest know-it-all, you're a reporter.

Talking, Two, People

P. J. O'Rourke (2015). “Thrown Under the Omnibus: A Reader”, p.1071, Grove/Atlantic, Inc.

When government does, occasionally, work, it works in an elitist fashion. That is, government is most easily manipulated by people who have money and power already. This is why government benefits usually go to people who don't need benefits from government. Government may make some environmental improvements, but these will be improvements for rich bird-watchers. And no one in government will remember that when poor people go bird-watching they do it at Kentucky Fried Chicken.

Fashion, Government, Kentucky

"All the Trouble in the World". Book by P. J. O'Rourke, 1994.

No one has ever had a fantasy about being tied to a bed and sexually ravished by someone dressed as a liberal

Bed, Fantasy, Sexually

P. J. O'Rourke (2007). “Give War a Chance: Eyewitness Accounts of Mankind's Struggle Against Tyranny, Injustice, and Alcohol-Free Beer”, p.22, Grove/Atlantic, Inc.

People are all exactly alike. There's no such thing as a race and barely such a thing as an ethnic group. If we were dogs, we'd be the same breed. George Bush and an Australian Aborigine have fewer differences than a Lhasa apso and a toy fox terrier. A Japanese raised in Riyadh would be an Arab. A Zulu raised in New Rochelle would be an orthodontist. People are all the same, though their circumstances differ terribly.

Dog, Race, Differences

B students work for C students - A students teach.

Students, Teach

"A Government of Know-it-Alls". www.cbsnews.com. April 27, 2010.

The French are a smallish, monkey-looking bunch and not dressed any better, on average, than the citizens of Baltimore. True, you can sit outside in Paris and drink little cups of coffee, but why this is more stylish than sitting inside and drinking large glasses of whiskey I don't know.

Drinking, Coffee, Glasses

P. J. O'Rourke (2015). “Thrown Under the Omnibus: A Reader”, p.154, Grove/Atlantic, Inc.

We're gonna be in a world of hurt if we don't get it fixed, because there's going to be billions of people out there - they're hungry, they're mad. One thing that they can get their hands on is guns.

Hurt, Gun, Hands

Source: www.avclub.com

With Epcot Center, the Disney corporation has accomplished something I didn't think possible in today's world. They have created a land of make-believe that's worse than regular life.

Life, Believe, Thinking

P.J. O'Rourke (2012). “Holidays in Hell”, p.160, Atlantic Books Ltd

I like to think of my behavior in the sixties as a 'learning experience.' Then again, I like to think of anything stupid I've done as a 'learning experience.' It makes me feel less stupid.

Stupid, Silly, Thinking

P. J. O'Rourke (2007). “Give War a Chance: Eyewitness Accounts of Mankind's Struggle Against Tyranny, Injustice, and Alcohol-Free Beer”, p.94, Grove/Atlantic, Inc.

Every government is a parliament of whores. The trouble is, in a democracy, the whores are us.

Democracies Have, Government, Democracy

Parliament of Whores (1991)

A U.S. dollar is an IOU from the Federal Reserve Bank. It's a promissory note that doesn't actually promise anything. It's not backed by gold or silver.

Promise, Gold, Dollars

America is not a wily, sneaky nation. We don't think that way. We don't think much at all, thank God. Start thinking and pretty soon you get ideas, and then you get idealism, and the next thing you know you've got ideology, with millions dead in concentration camps and gulags.

Funny, Humorous, Thinking

Feminism is the result of a few ignorant and literal-minded women letting the cat out of the bag about which is the superior sex. Once women made it public that they could do things better than men, they were, of course, forced to do them.

Sex, Cat, Men

P. J. O'Rourke (2007). “Modern Manners: An Etiquette Book for Rude People”, p.87, Grove/Atlantic, Inc.

Personally, I believe a rocking hammock, a good cigar, and a tall gin-and-tonic is the way to save the planet.

Believe, Hammocks, Way

P.J. O'Rourke (2015). “Thrown Under the Omnibus”, p.392, Atlantic Books Ltd

The key ingredient of politics is the idea that all of society's ills can be cured politically. It's like a cookbook where the recipe for everything is to fry it. The fruit cocktail is fried.

Keys, Ideas, Recipes

Ideology, politics and journalism, which luxuriate in failure, are impotent in the face of hope and joy.

Joy, Faces, Journalism

P.J. O'Rourke (2015). “Thrown Under the Omnibus”, p.256, Atlantic Books Ltd

If I give up drinking, smoking, and fatty foods, I can add ten years to my life. Trouble is, I'll add it to the wrong end.

Giving Up, Drinking, Years

You May Also Like: