Witty Quotes - Page 31

Some people say, “Never let them see you cry.” I say, if you’re so mad you could just cry, then cry. It terrifies everyone.

I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done.

#3 pencils and quadrille pads.(when asked what CAD tools he used to design the Cray I supercomputer )

Our comedies are not to be laughed at.

Whenever people agree with me I always feel I must be wrong.

A poet can survive everything but a misprint.

Facts are the enemy of truth.

No one can have everything, so you have to try for what you want most.

There's one thing that's really great about waking up early, and it's not jogging or greeting the day - it's just that that's when they make doughnuts.

Any one who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of sin.

The nice thing about being a celebrity is that, if you bore people, they think it's their fault.

I love my cigar too, but I take it out of my mouth once in a while.

Do you mind if I don't smoke?

The first thing which I can record concerning myself is, that I was born. These are wonderful words. This life, to which neither time nor eternity can bring diminution - this everlasting living soul, began. My mind loses itself in these depths.

You can only find truth with logic if you have already found truth without it.

If one has not given everything, one has given nothing.

I earn and pay my own way as a great many women do today. Why should unmarried women be discriminated against - unmarried men are not.

The creed of the Inland Revenue is simple: "If we can bring one little smile to one little face today, then somebody's slipped up somewhere."

Your wits make others witty.

People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world.

The coffee is prepared in such a way that it makes those who drink it witty: at least there is not a single soul who, on quitting the house, does not believe himself four times wittier that when he entered it.

Banks have a new image. Now you have 'a friend,' your friendly banker. If the banks are so friendly, how come they chain down the pens?

The last woman I was in was the Statue of Liberty.

Those who can't do, teach. And those who can't teach, teach gym.

Honey! Bring down a copy of my will - and an eraser!