Witty Quotes - Page 6

Don't let it end like this. Tell them I said something.

Miami Beach is where neon goes to die.

Room service? Send up a larger room.

Every man's dream is to be able to sink into the arms of a woman without also falling into her hands.

In expanding the field of knowledge we but increase the horizon of ignorance.

I was the kid next door's imaginary friend.

A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.

No man is good enough to govern another man without the other's consent.

Computers are useless. They can only give you answers.

I can resist everything except temptation.

There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of bread.

Creative minds have always been known to survive any kind of bad training.

Take me or leave me; or, as is the usual order of things, both.

After I'm dead I'd rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one.

I hate reality but it's still the best place to get a good steak.

Santa Claus has the right idea - visit people only once a year.

If I had to live my life again, I'd make the same mistakes, only sooner.

Television has made dictatorship impossible but democracy unbearable.

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

Be pretty if you can, be witty if you must, but be gracious if it kills you.

Big Data is like teenage sex: everyone talks about it, nobody really knows how to do it, everyone thinks everyone else is doing it, so everyone claims they are doing it.

A man's face is his autobiography. A woman's face is her work of fiction.

Political correctness is tyranny with manners.

If I could drop dead right now, I'd be the happiest man alive.

Under capitalism, man exploits man. Under communism, it's just the opposite.