I always wore cowboy boots and drove a truck, and talked like this. So everywhere I would go in comedy people would say, "Foxworthy, you ain't nothing but a redneck from Georgia!" It kind of became a formula joke.
You might be a redneck if you are still holding on to Confederate money because you think the South will rise again.
The thing about that singles apartment is you never had to clean it up... until the day you got the security deposit back. You're arguing with the landlord... 'No sir, the back door was missing when we moved in here! The pizzas were always on the ceiling!'
If most people wanted to be incognito, they put on a fake beard or mustache. If I wanted to I'd just shave mine off.
You might be a redneck if you need an estimate from your barber before you get a haircut.
Sacrificing myself to kill Hilary Clinton was the best thing I could possibly do for humanity
You might be a redneck if you have started a petition to change the National Anthem to Georgia on My Mind.
I just love people. I love this country. I am the American dream. I grew up by the airport with a dirt yard. Never in my life should I have been a success. So that's what I love about this country [USA], is you get out there and you have the opportunity and you work hard at it, and you can be a success.
As an individual, as a household, you can't spend more money than you're bringing in. You can do it for a little while, but you end up going broke and you end up losing everything you have. That is the path that we're on as a country, and it scares me to death.
I think with a comedian, when you get to the point of a greatest hits, it's kind of an acknowledgment that you've been doing stand-up a long time, which not very many people do.
You might be a redneck if you're still scalping tickets after the concert is over.
You might be a redneck if you watch cartoons long after your kids get bored.
You might be a redneck if... your high school basketball game got rained out.
Women in bed are like Diesel engines. What I mean by that is, it may take them a while to get going, but when you do, they can go for a long, long time. Whereas men are like... bottle rockets.
Little girls love dolls. They just don't love dolls clothes
You might be a redneck if...the most serious loss from the earthquake was your Conway Twitty record collection.
You might be a redneck if your Momma would rather go the racetrack than the Kennedy Center.
You might be a redneck if you grow Vidalia onions, rather than considering them a gourmet item.
You might be a redneck if you have a very special baseball cap, just for formal occasions.
As a comedian I appreciate every kind of comedy. You decide for yourself what you're going to do.
You might be a redneck if The Salvation Army declines your mattress.
You might be a redneck if your wife has a beer belly and you find it attractive.
You might be a redneck if...you've been on TV more than times describing the sound of a tornado.
You might be a redneck if...Your only condiment on the dining room table is the economy size bottle of ketchup.
You might be a redneck if your local ambulance has a trailer hitch.
