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Mark Twain Quotes - Page 23

All Quotes 4th Of July Accomplishment Achievement Addiction Adventure Adversity Age Aging Alcohol Ambition Anxiety Appearance Appreciation Arguing Army Arrogance Art Atheism Atheist Attitude Authority Balance Beauty Beer Being Alone Belief Bible Bitterness Blame Bliss Bravery Business Censorship Challenges Change Character Charity Chastity Children Christianity Church Coffee College Comedy Communication Community Compassion Confidence Conflict Conscience Conservatism Constitution Cooking Country Courage Crime Criticism Dance Dancing Darkness Death Deception Defeat Democracy Design Desire Determination Devil Disappointment Diversity Divorce Doubt Drinking Duty Dying Earth Education Effort Encouragement Energy Enthusiasm Envy Epic Ethics Evidence Evil Exercise Experience Failing Failure Family Fashion Fear Feelings Fighting Finding Yourself Fitness Flattery Focus Food Forgiveness Free Speech Freedom Friends Friendship Fun Funeral Funny Future Genius Getting Older Giving Giving Up God Gold Good Times Gossip Grace Graduation Gratitude Greatness Greed Grief Grieving Growing Up Growth Happiness Happy Hard Times Hard Work Hate Healing Health Heart Heaven Hell Hilarious Hills Hinduism History Holiday Home Honesty Honor House Human Nature Humanity Humility Hunger Hunting Hurt Hypocrisy Ignorance Imagination Independence Individuality Innovation Insanity Inspiration Inspirational Inspiring Integrity Intelligence Journey Joy Judgement Judging Judgment Justice Kindness Knowledge Labor Language Laughter Law Of Attraction Leadership Learning Liars Liberty Life Life And Death Literature Loneliness Losing Loss Love Loyalty Luck Lying Madness Manners Marriage Math Memorial Day Memories Military Moderation Modesty Mom Monarchy Money Moon Morality Morning Motivation Motivational Mountain Music Nature New Year Office Opportunity Optimism Pain Parenting Passion Past Patriotism Peace Perception Perfection Perseverance Personality Philosophy Planning Pleasure Politics Positive Positive Thinking Positivity Poverty Power Praise Prayer Preaching Prejudice Pride Privacy Profanity Progress Prophecy Prosperity Purpose Quality Rain Reading Reading Books Reality Recovery Regret Religion Reputation Respect Responsibility Revolution Risk Running Sad Sadness Sailing Salvation Sanity Sarcasm Satan School Science Self Esteem Seven Shame Silence Simplicity Sin Skins Sleep Smoking Society Solitude Son Sorrow Soul Sports Spring Strength Struggle Study Stupidity Style Success Suffering Summer Sunday Sunshine Swimming Talent Taxes Teaching Temperance Temptation Time Today Trade Tradition Tragedy Training Travel Trust Truth Twins Undertaker Vacation Values Violence Virtue Vision Vocation Voting Waiting War Water Wealth Whiskey Wife Wine Winning Winter Wisdom Wit Work Worry Worship Writing Youth

Humor is mankind's greatest blessing.

Humor is mankind's greatest blessing.

Good Life, Inspiration, Humor

Mark Twain (2012). “Mark Twain at Your Fingertips: A Book of Quotations”, p.188, Courier Corporation

We consider that any man who can fiddle all through one of those Virginia Reels without losing his grip may be depended upon in any kind of musical emergency.

Music, Men, Virginia

Mark Twain (1957). “Mark Twain of the Enterprise: newspaper articles & other documents, 1862-1864”

When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not; but my faculties are decaying now and soon I shall be so I cannot remember any but the things that never happened. It is sad to go to pieces like this but we all have to do it.

Happy Birthday, Growing Up, 50th Birthday

Mark Twain (2010). “Mark Twain's Own Autobiography: The Chapters from the North American Review”, p.113, Univ of Wisconsin Press

God was left out of the Constitution, but was furnished a front seat in this nations currency. ("In God we Trust") is a lie, this nations trust has always been with the dollar.

Lying, Dollars, Constitution

Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.

Funny, Motivational, Business

Pudd'nhead Wilson ch. 19, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar" (1894)

There are people who think that honesty is always the best policy. This is a superstition. There are times when the appearance of it is worth six of it.

Honesty, Inspiration, Thinking

Mark Twain (2014). “Following The Equator”, p.59, Jazzybee Verlag

Never be haughty to the humble, never be humble to the haughty.

Inspirational, Humble, Humility

He had the calm confidence of a Christian with four aces.

Funny, Christian, Humorous

Mark Twain (2015). “Bite-Size Twain: Wit and Wisdom from the Literary Legend”, p.55, St. Martin's Press

Conservatism is the blind and fear-filled worship of dead radicals.

Political, Conservative, Worship

Mark Twain (2014). “Mark Twain on Common Sense: Timeless Advice and Words of Wisdom from America's Most-Revered Humorist”, p.15, Skyhorse Publishing, Inc.

Don't tell fish stories where the people know you; but particularly, don't tell them where they know the fish.

Inspiration, Fishing, People

Mark Twain (2012). “Mark Twain at Your Fingertips: A Book of Quotations”, p.125, Courier Corporation

I was dead for millions of years before I was born and it never inconvenienced me a bit.

Death, Suicide, Religious

At 50, a man can be an ass without being an optimist but not an optimist without being an ass

Inspirational, Funny, Clever

Mark Twain (2012). “Mark Twain at Your Fingertips: A Book of Quotations”, p.14, Courier Corporation

It is best to read the weather forecast before praying for rain.

Rain, Weather, Religion

Mark Twain, Caroline Thomas Harnsberger (2009). “Mark Twain at Your Fingertips: A Book of Quotations”, p.513, Courier Corporation

Never do wrong when people are looking.

People

Mark Twain, John S. Tuckey (1972). “Mark Twain's Fables of Man”, p.339, Univ of California Press

Always obey your parents - when they are present.

Children, Humorous, Parenting

Mark Twain, Gregg Camfield, Sally Wern Comport (2005). “Mark Twain”, p.31, Sterling Publishing Company, Inc.

People who love sausage and respect the law should never watch either being made.

Law, People, Watches

A man with a hump-backed uncle mustn't make fun of another man's cross-eyed aunt

Funny, Uncles, Aunt

Mark Twain, Gary Scharnhorst (2006). “Mark Twain: The Complete Interviews”, p.19, University of Alabama Press

A reputable lawyer will advise you to keep out of the law, make the best of a foolish bargain, and not get caught again.

Law, Foolish, Caught

Mark Twain, Hamlin Lewis Hill (1967). “Mark Twain's Letters to His Publishers, 1867-1894”, p.86, Univ of California Press

Don't explain your author, read him right and he explains himself.

Reading Books

Mark Twain (2012). “Mark Twain at Your Fingertips: A Book of Quotations”, p.396, Courier Corporation

Ignorance is not, not knowing something. It is knowing what isn't so.

Ignorance, Knowing, Not Knowing

There are several good protections against temptation, but the surest is cowardice.

Fear, Halloween, Temptation

Following the Equator (1897) ch. 36

'Classic.' A book which people praise and don't read.

Inspirational, Funny, Life

Following the Equator ch. 25, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's New Calendar" (1897)

The old Irish when immersing a babe at baptism left out the right arm so that it would remain pagan for good fighting

Baby, Fighting, Boys

Barring that natural expression of villainy which we all have, the man looked honest enough.

Men, Expression, Honest

A Curious Dream (1872) "A Mysterious Visit"

[Patriotism] ...is a word which always commemorates a robbery. There isn't a foot of land in the world which doesn't represent the ousting and re-ousting of a longline of successive "owners" who each in turn, as "patriots" with proud swelling hearts defended it against the next gang of "robbers" who came to steal it and did -- and became swelling-hearted patriots in their turn.

Heart, Land, Feet

Notebook, 26 May 1896

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