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Mark Twain Quotes - Page 22

All Quotes 4th Of July Accomplishment Achievement Addiction Adventure Adversity Age Aging Alcohol Ambition Anxiety Appearance Appreciation Arguing Army Arrogance Art Atheism Atheist Attitude Authority Balance Beauty Beer Being Alone Belief Bible Bitterness Blame Bliss Bravery Business Censorship Challenges Change Character Charity Chastity Children Christianity Church Coffee College Comedy Communication Community Compassion Confidence Conflict Conscience Conservatism Constitution Cooking Country Courage Crime Criticism Dance Dancing Darkness Death Deception Defeat Democracy Design Desire Determination Devil Disappointment Diversity Divorce Doubt Drinking Duty Dying Earth Education Effort Encouragement Energy Enthusiasm Envy Epic Ethics Evidence Evil Exercise Experience Failing Failure Family Fashion Fear Feelings Fighting Finding Yourself Fitness Flattery Focus Food Forgiveness Free Speech Freedom Friends Friendship Fun Funeral Funny Future Genius Getting Older Giving Giving Up God Gold Good Times Gossip Grace Graduation Gratitude Greatness Greed Grief Grieving Growing Up Growth Happiness Happy Hard Times Hard Work Hate Healing Health Heart Heaven Hell Hilarious Hills Hinduism History Holiday Home Honesty Honor House Human Nature Humanity Humility Hunger Hunting Hurt Hypocrisy Ignorance Imagination Independence Individuality Innovation Insanity Inspiration Inspirational Inspiring Integrity Intelligence Journey Joy Judgement Judging Judgment Justice Kindness Knowledge Labor Language Laughter Law Of Attraction Leadership Learning Liars Liberty Life Life And Death Literature Loneliness Losing Loss Love Loyalty Luck Lying Madness Manners Marriage Math Memorial Day Memories Military Moderation Modesty Mom Monarchy Money Moon Morality Morning Motivation Motivational Mountain Music Nature New Year Office Opportunity Optimism Pain Parenting Passion Past Patriotism Peace Perception Perfection Perseverance Personality Philosophy Planning Pleasure Politics Positive Positive Thinking Positivity Poverty Power Praise Prayer Preaching Prejudice Pride Privacy Profanity Progress Prophecy Prosperity Purpose Quality Rain Reading Reading Books Reality Recovery Regret Religion Reputation Respect Responsibility Revolution Risk Running Sad Sadness Sailing Salvation Sanity Sarcasm Satan School Science Self Esteem Seven Shame Silence Simplicity Sin Skins Sleep Smoking Society Solitude Son Sorrow Soul Sports Spring Strength Struggle Study Stupidity Style Success Suffering Summer Sunday Sunshine Swimming Talent Taxes Teaching Temperance Temptation Time Today Trade Tradition Tragedy Training Travel Trust Truth Twins Undertaker Vacation Values Violence Virtue Vision Vocation Voting Waiting War Water Wealth Whiskey Wife Wine Winning Winter Wisdom Wit Work Worry Worship Writing Youth

The first time a student realizes that a little learning is a dangerous thing is when he brings home a poor report card.

The first time a student realizes that a little learning is a dangerous thing is when he brings home a poor report card.

Time, Home, Learning

A gentleman is a man who can play the banjo, but doesn't.

Men, Play, Gentleman

I'm pushing 60 years of age...and that's enough exercise for me.

Humorous, Exercise, Years

I prefer milk because I am a Prohibitionist, but I do not go to it for inspiration.

Food, Inspiration, Cooking

July 4. Statistics show that we lose more fools on this day than in all the other days of the year put together. This proves, by the number left in stock, that one fourth of July per year is now inadequate, the country has grown so

Country, 4th Of July, Years

Pudd'nhead Wilson Chapter XVII (p. 164)

I have seen slower people than I am and more deliberate... and even quieter, and more listless, and lazier people than I am. But they were dead.

Funny, Sarcastic, Sarcasm

Mark Twain (2012). “Mark Twain at Your Fingertips: A Book of Quotations”, p.442, Courier Corporation

The Koran does not permit Mohammedans to drink. Their natural instincts do not permit them to be moral. They say the Sultan has eight hundred wives. This almost amounts to bigamy.

Eight, Wife, Religion

Mark Twain (1984). “The Innocents Abroad ; Roughing it”, p.290, Library of America

Everytime I read 'Pride and Prejudice' I want to dig her up and beat her over the skull with her own shin-bone.

Pride, Skulls, Prejudice

Thunder is good, thunder is impressive; but it is lightning that does the work.

Inspirational, Life, Work

Letter to HenryW. Ruoff, 28 Aug. 1908

Education consists mainly of what we have unlearned.

Inspirational, Education, Learning

c.1897 Quoted in Albert Bigelow Paine (ed) MarkTwain's Notebook (1935).

What marriage is to morality, a properly conducted licensed liquor traffic is to sobriety.

Sobriety, Morality, Liquor

1895 Quoted in Albert Bigelow Paine (ed) MarkTwain's Notebook (1935), ch.23.

Indecency, vulgarity, obscenity - these are strictly confined to man; he invented them. Among the higher animals there is no trace of them. They hide nothing. They are not ashamed.

Animal, Men, Obscenity

Mark Twain (2009). “Mark Twain’s Book of Animals”, p.119, Univ of California Press

Do the thing you fear most and the death of fear is certain.

Death, Motivational Sports, Fear

Mark Twain (2014). “Mark Twain on Common Sense: Timeless Advice and Words of Wisdom from America's Most-Revered Humorist”, p.54, Skyhorse Publishing, Inc.

Figures often beguile me, particularly when I have the arranging of them myself; in which case the remark attributed to Disraeli would often apply with justice and force: "There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics."

Funny, Lying, Humorous

The Autobiography of Mark Twain Chapter 29

If all men were rich, all men would be poor.

Money, Men, Would Be

Mark Twain (2012). “Mark Twain at Your Fingertips: A Book of Quotations”, p.406, Courier Corporation

what is joy without sorrow? what is success without failure? what is a win without a loss? what is health without illness? you have to experience each if you are to appreciate the other. there is always going to be suffering. it’s how you look at your suffering, how you deal with it, that will define you.

Loss, Winning, Appreciate

The person who has no opinion will seldom be wrong.

Opinion, Persons

We are always too busy for our children; we never give them the time or interest they deserve. We lavish gifts upon them; but the most precious gift, our personal association, which means so much to them, we give grudgingly.

Relationship, Children, Mean

Mark Twain (2012). “Mark Twain at Your Fingertips: A Book of Quotations”, p.42, Courier Corporation

The rain ...falls upon the just and the unjust alike; a thing which would not happen if I were superintending the rain's affairs. No, I would rain softly and sweetly on the just, but if I caught a sample of the unjust outdoors, I would drown him.

Rain, Fall, Unjust

Mark Twain (2015). “Autobiography of Mark Twain, Volume 3: The Complete and Authoritative Edition”, p.221, Univ of California Press

The rule is perfect: in all matters of opinion our adversaries are insane.

Friendship, Inspiration, Perfect

Christian Science bk. 1, ch. 5 (1907)

Children are natural mimics who act like their parents despite every effort to teach them good manners.

Children, Effort, Parent

I have carried a revolver; lots of us do, but they are the most innocent things in the world.

Gun, World, Innocent

Mark Twain, Gary Scharnhorst (2006). “Mark Twain: The Complete Interviews”, p.237, University of Alabama Press

Whiskey is for drinking; water is for fighting over.

Drinking, Fighting, Water

There are no people who are quite so vulgar as the over-refined.

Vulgarity Is, People, Refined

Mark Twain (2012). “The Wit and Wisdom of Mark Twain: A Book of Quotations”, p.4, Courier Corporation

The only certainties in life are death and taxes.

Certainty Of Death, Certainty In Life, Taxes

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