I had no desire to be a stand-up comic until I decided to do it.
Impulse buying is not macho. Men rarely call the Home Shopping Network.
One of my first office jobs was cleaning the windows on brown envelopes.
No man is charming all of the time. Even Cary Grant is on record saying he wished he could be Cary Grant.
I don't like when there's too much conversation because I'm shy and it makes me uncomfortable.
I don't want to push the envelope. Let the envelope stay in the middle of the table. I'll just make you laugh.
All men would still really like to own a train set.
If I say a joke and the audience laughs it makes me feel good.
There are different kinds of humor, some is sarcastic, some introspective. Introspective fit my personality better.
I adore being hitched. It's so extraordinary to discover one unique individual you need to irritate for whatever remains of your life.
Men are less sentimental than women. No man has ever seen the movie THE WAY WE WERE twice, voluntarily.
Men are sensitive in strange ways. If a man has built a fire and the last log does not burn, he will take it personally.
Men who are going bald often wear baseball caps.
Men in high levels of government seldom surf.
Men will now get up and walk with the baby in the middle of the night, change its diapers, and give it a bottle, but in their heart of hearts they still think they shouldn't have to.
Only men who have worn a ski suit understand how complicated it is for a woman to go to the bathroom when she's wearing a jumpsuit.
