Rodney Dangerfield Quotes about Home

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A girl phoned me the other day and said... 'Come on over, there's nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was home.

A girl phoned me the other day and said... 'Come on over, there's nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was home.

Rodney Dangerfield

Funny, Girl, Home

I come home from work early one day, and I see a guy jogging down the street in his underwear. I ask him, "Why are you jogging in your underwear?" He says, "You came home from work early".

Rodney Dangerfield

Funny, Home, Humor

With my old man I got no respect. When he took me hunting he gave me a three minute head start. Then on the way home he tied me to the fender and put the deer in the car.

Rodney Dangerfield

Respect, Home, Men

When my wife drives, there's always trouble. The other day she took the car. She came home. She told me, There's water in the carburetor. I asked her, Where's the car? She said, In a lake.

Rodney Dangerfield

Home, Lakes, Water

Rodney Dangerfield (2009). “It's Not Easy Bein' Me: A Lifetime of No Respect but Plenty of Sex and Drugs”, p.28, Zondervan

They took a survey: Why do men get up in the middle of the night? Ten percent get up to go to the bathroom and 90 percent get up to go home.

Rodney Dangerfield

Home, Night, Men

Rodney Dangerfield (2009). “It's Not Easy Bein' Me: A Lifetime of No Respect but Plenty of Sex and Drugs”, p.37, Zondervan

I took my son to Coney island, I said "wanna go in the crazy house?", he said "save your money we'll be home soon"!

Rodney Dangerfield

Funny, Crazy, Home

My boy is a mean kid. I came home the other day and saw him taping worms to the sidewalk, he sits there and watches the birds get hernias. Well, only last Christmas I gave him a B-B gun and he gave me a sweatshirt with a bulls-eye on the back. I told my kids, "Someday, you'll have kids of your own." One of them said, "So will you."

Rodney Dangerfield

Home, Mean, Kids

My wife met me at the door the other night in a sexy negligee. Unfortunately, she was just coming home.

Rodney Dangerfield

Inspirational, Sexy, Home

One day as I came home early, I saw a man jogging naked. I said to the guy, 'Hey, buddy, why are you doing that?' He said, 'Because you came home early.'

Rodney Dangerfield

Funny, Home, Men

Sure I smoked pot in hospital. My wife won't let me toke at home.

Rodney Dangerfield

Home, Wife, Pot

One night I came home. I figured, let my wife come on. I'll play it cool. Let her make the first move. She went to Florida.

Rodney Dangerfield

Funny, Moving, Home

I said to a girl I'd been seeing, come home with me, honey, and I'll show you where it's at. She said, You'd better, because the last time I could'nt find it.

Rodney Dangerfield

Girl, Home, Honey

We lived in a neighborhood that was too rich for us. When I was young, I had to deliver groceries to the homes of the kids I went to school with. I had to go to the back doors to make the deliveries. It was embarrassing. That was one thing out of a hundred.

Rodney Dangerfield

Home, School, Kids

"Rodney Dangerfield: What I've Learned" by Cal Fussman, www.esquire.com. January 29, 2007.

Rodney Dangerfield Quotes about Home

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