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Woody Allen Quotes - Page 13

All Quotes Age Anxiety Art Atheism Atheist Baseball Basketball Beer Boredom Character Childhood Children Choices College Comedy Concentration Cooking Country Crime Culture Cynicism Death Desire Divorce Drama Driving Dying Education Enthusiasm Failing Falling In Love Feelings Fighting Film Food Fun Funny Genius Getting Older Giving God Hate Heart Heaven Hell Hilarious Home House Human Nature Humanity Hurt Imagination Immortality Inspiration Inspirational Inspiring Kissing Laughter Liberty Life Logic Love Love And Death Love Life Luck Lying Mankind Marriage Maturity Meaning Of Life Money Morning Pain Past Philosophy Politics Quality Reading Reality Regret Reincarnation Religion Running Sarcasm School Science Sleep Smoking Stupidity Style Success Suffering Sunday Talent Time Today Tragedy Universe Waiting Wall War Water Wife Winning Writing

There is no question that there is an unseen world. The problem is, how far is it from midtown and how late is it open?

There is no question that there is an unseen world. The problem is, how far is it from midtown and how late is it open?

Witty, New York, Humorous

Woody Allen (2007). “The Insanity Defense: The Complete Prose”, Random House Incorporated

A: Socrates is a man. B: All men are mortal. C: All men are Socrates.

Men, Logic, Logical

"Fictional character: Boris". "Love and Death", www.imdb.com. June 10, 1975.

I've inherited the worst of each parent. I have my father's hypochondria and lack of concentration. I have his amorality. I have everything bad that he had. Then I have my mother's surly, pill-like, complaining, whining attitude.

Mother, Attitude, Father

Interview with Douglas McGrath, www.interviewmagazine.com. September 1, 2008.

It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better while the bad ones seemed to enjoy the waking hours much more.

Funny, Book, Humor

New Yorker, 21 Nov. 1977

While we're waiting for a cab I'll give you your lesson for today. Don't listen to what your teachers tell ya, you know. Don't pay attention. Just, just see what they look like and that's how you'll know what life is really gonna be like.

Teacher, Giving, Waiting

"Fictional character: Clifford Stern". "Crimes and Misdemeanors", www.imdb.com. 1989.

I think [aging] has nothing to recommend it. You don't gain any wisdom as the years go by. You fall apart, is what happens. People try and put a nice varnish on it, and say, well, you mellow. You come to understand life and accept things. But you'd trade all of that for being 35 again.

Nice, Fall, Thinking

Sex on Twitter can't hurt you - unless you fall off.

Anniversary, Hurt, Sex

Never shoot up in the air when you're standing under it.

Air, Up In The Air, Standing

I wouldn't mind dying so much if it wasn't that I would be dead at the end of it.

Mind, Dying, Would Be

Some women feel power is important, some women feel that looks are important, tenderness, intelligence...but sense of humor seems to permeate all of them.

Important, Sense Of Humor, Tenderness

Source: www.commonwealmagazine.org

How the hell do I know why there were Nazis? I don't know how the can-opener works.

Understanding, Hell, Nazi

"Hannah and Her Sisters". www.imdb.com. 1986.

I think it's my job or the artist's job, to try and find some solution or some reason to accept things. But given the grimmest reality, I feel the grimmest facts are the real facts, the true facts: that you're born, you die, you suffer, it's to no purpose, and you're gone forever, ever, ever, and that's it.

Jobs, Real, Thinking

Doing abominations is against the law, particularly if the abominations are done while wearing a lobster bib.

Law, Lobster, Done

Woody Allen (2007). “The Insanity Defense: The Complete Prose”, Random House Incorporated

They were doing the Dying Swan at the ballet. And there was a rumor that some bookmarkers had drifted into town from upstate New York and that they had fixed the bullet. There was a lot of money bet on the swan to live.

New York, Swans, Ballet

I work all the time because it's a great distraction and it keeps me from sitting home and obsessing morbidly.

Home, Sitting, Distraction

Life is horrible, but it is not relentlessly black from wire to wire. You can sit down and hear a Mozart symphony, or you can watch the Marx Brothers, and this will give you a pleasant escape for a while. And that is about the best that you can do.

Brother, Symphony, Giving

"Woody Allen's World: Whatever Works". Interview with Robert E. Lauder, www.commonwealmagazine.org. April 15, 2010.

Have you ever taken a serious political stand on anything? Yeah. Sure. For twenty-four hours once I refused to eat grapes.

Taken, Political, Serious

The chief problem about death, incidentally, is the fear that there may be no afterlife - a depressing thought, particularly for those who bothered to shave. Also, there is the fear that there is an afterlife but no one will know where it's being held. On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done as easily laying down.

Depressing, Afterlife, Done

Woody Allen (2007). “The Insanity Defense: The Complete Prose”, Random House Incorporated

I think there is too much wrong with the world to ever get too relaxed and happy. The more natural state, and the better one, I think, is one of some anxiety and tension over man's plight in this mysterious universe.

Men, Thinking, Mysterious Universe

"Biography / Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

When you make the film, it's like a chef who works on the meal. After you're working all day in the kitchen and dicing and cutting and putting the sauces on, you don't want to eat it. That's how I always feel about the films. I work on it for a year. I've written it, I've worked with the actors, I've edited, put the music in. I just never want to see it again.

Cutting, Years, Kitchen

"Woody Allen Interview To Rome With Love". Press conference with Woody Allen, www.moviesonline.ca. June, 2012.

If you can delude yourself by believing that there is some kind of Santa Claus out there who is going to bail you out in the end, then it will help you get through. Even if you are proven wrong in the end, you would have had a better life than a non-believer.

Believe, Bail, Santa

"Woody Allen's World: Whatever Works". Interview with Robert E. Lauder, www.commonwealmagazine.org. April 15, 2010.

I'm a teleological, existential agnostic.

Agnostic, Existential

Those modern analysts, they charge so much! In my day, for five marks Freud himself would treat you. For ten marks he would treat you and press your pants. For fifteen marks Freud would let you treat him - that included a choice of any two vegetables.

Vegetables, Two, Choices

Woody Allen (2007). “The Insanity Defense: The Complete Prose”, Random House Incorporated

I don't fear death. - I just don't want to be around when it happens.

Want, Fear Of Death, Happens

Umlaut snaps around and we cut to a blond apparition in her early twenties, clearly descended from Olympus by way of Hugh Hefner's mansion.

Funny, Beauty, Humor

Woody Allen (2007). “Mere Anarchy”, Random House Incorporated

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