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Woody Allen Quotes - Page 12

All Quotes Age Anxiety Art Atheism Atheist Baseball Basketball Beer Boredom Character Childhood Children Choices College Comedy Concentration Cooking Country Crime Culture Cynicism Death Desire Divorce Drama Driving Dying Education Enthusiasm Failing Falling In Love Feelings Fighting Film Food Fun Funny Genius Getting Older Giving God Hate Heart Heaven Hell Hilarious Home House Human Nature Humanity Hurt Imagination Immortality Inspiration Inspirational Inspiring Kissing Laughter Liberty Life Logic Love Love And Death Love Life Luck Lying Mankind Marriage Maturity Meaning Of Life Money Morning Pain Past Philosophy Politics Quality Reading Reality Regret Reincarnation Religion Running Sarcasm School Science Sleep Smoking Stupidity Style Success Suffering Sunday Talent Time Today Tragedy Universe Waiting Wall War Water Wife Winning Writing

Child molestation is a touchy subject... Read the papers! Half the country's doing it!

Child molestation is a touchy subject... Read the papers! Half the country's doing it!

Country, Children, Half

I'm awash in self-contempt!

Sad, Self, Contempt

"Fictional character: Lee Simon". "Celebrity", www.imdb.com. 1998.

I believe in sex and death- two experiences that come once in a lifetime.

Sex, Believe, Two

In short, the best thing to do is behave in a manner befitting one's age. If you are sixteen or under, try not to go bald.

Age, Trying, Sixteen

Woody Allen (2007). “The Insanity Defense: The Complete Prose”, Random House Incorporated

Should I marry W.? Not if she won't tell me the other letters in her name.

Funny, Humorous, Names

Woody Allen, Robert E. Kapsis, Kathie Coblentz (2006). “Woody Allen: Interviews”, p.151, Univ. Press of Mississippi

Oh, he was probably a member of the National Rifle Association. It was a group that helped criminals get guns so they could shoot citizens. It was a public service.

Gun, Criminals, Groups

"Fictional character: Miles Monroe". Sleeper, 1973.

How wrong Emily Dickinson was! Hope is not "the thing with feathers." The thing with feathers has turned out to be my nephew. I must take him to a specialist in Zurich.

Zurich, Nephew, Specialists

Without Feathers "Selections from the Allen Notebooks" (1975) See Emily Dickinson 10

The curtain rises on a vast primitive wasteland, not unlike certain parts of New jersey.

Funny, Humor, Jersey

Woody Allen (2007). “The Insanity Defense: The Complete Prose”, Random House Incorporated

If I could only see one miracle, just one miracle. Like a burning bush, or the seas part, or my uncle Sasha pick up a check.

Uncles, Sea, Miracle

There's no rhyme or reason to anything that I do. It's whatever seems right at the time.

Reason, Rhyme, Seems

My grandfather had a wonderful funeral... On the buffet table there was a replica of the deceased in potato salad.

Food, Funeral, Cooking

What do I dislike about death? Must be the hours.

Hours, Dislike, Universe

Those who can't do, teach. And those who can't teach, teach gym.

Witty, Humorous, Annie Hall

Woody Allen, Marshall Brickman (2000). “Annie Hall: scénario bilingue”

The baby is fine. The only problem is that he looks like Edward G. Robinson.

Baby, Children, Looks

I can't do anything to death, doctor's orders.

Doctors, Order, I Can

I recently turned 60. Practically a third of my life is over.

Birthday, Life Is, Thirds

The Observer Review, 1996.

The heart wants what it wants. There's no logic to these things. You meet someone and you fall in love and that's that.

Love, Fall, Heart

If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything very innovative.

Inspirational, Motivational, Positive

"Shakespeare, Woody Allen And A Certain Qantas A380" by Christine Negroni, www.huffingtonpost.com. April 23, 2012.

Someday the lion is going to lie down with the lamb, but the lamb isn't going to get much sleep.

Lying, Sleep, Lambs

As the poet said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.

Sarcastic, Nature, Sarcasm

Woody Allen (2007). “The Insanity Defense: The Complete Prose”, Random House Incorporated

For some reason I've always had an irrational love for New York. There's no reason that you would necessarily like it on paper. It's very expensive.

New York, Paper, Reason

You're still in love' 'No I'm not, I'm not She'll always be a part of me, and she's an important person in my life but for the two of us something wasn't working.' 'What element?' 'We never found out

Two, Important, Elements

Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable.

Funny, Life, Humor

"Fictional character: Alvy Singer". "Annie Hall", www.imdb.com. 1977.

I've gained no wisdom, no insight, no mellowing. I would make all the same mistakes again, today.

Mistake, Today, Same Mistakes

"Woody: Marriage to Soon-Yi Has 'Paternal' Feeling". www.foxnews.com. November 01, 2005.

I wonder if Socrates and Plato took a house on Crete during the summer.

Summer, Plato, House

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