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Woody Allen Quotes - Page 10

All Quotes Age Anxiety Art Atheism Atheist Baseball Basketball Beer Boredom Character Childhood Children Choices College Comedy Concentration Cooking Country Crime Culture Cynicism Death Desire Divorce Drama Driving Dying Education Enthusiasm Failing Falling In Love Feelings Fighting Film Food Fun Funny Genius Getting Older Giving God Hate Heart Heaven Hell Hilarious Home House Human Nature Humanity Hurt Imagination Immortality Inspiration Inspirational Inspiring Kissing Laughter Liberty Life Logic Love Love And Death Love Life Luck Lying Mankind Marriage Maturity Meaning Of Life Money Morning Pain Past Philosophy Politics Quality Reading Reality Regret Reincarnation Religion Running Sarcasm School Science Sleep Smoking Stupidity Style Success Suffering Sunday Talent Time Today Tragedy Universe Waiting Wall War Water Wife Winning Writing

Please forgive me. My pedicurist had a stroke. She fell forward onto the orange stick and plunged it into my toe. It required bandaging.

Please forgive me. My pedicurist had a stroke. She fell forward onto the orange stick and plunged it into my toe. It required bandaging.

Orange, Forgive Me, Forgiving

Bullets Over Broadway, www.imdb.com. 1994.

The good sleep better, but the bad seem to enjoy the waking hours much more.

Sleep, Waking, Hours

Life is a tragedy filled with suffering and despair and yet some people do manage to avoid jury duty.

People, Suffering, Tragedy

"Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

Anything worth knowing cannot be understood by the human mind.

Knowing, Mind, Humans

Writing is great because in the writing you never have to... First of all you never have to leave your home. And you never have to meet the test of reality when you're writing.

Writing, Mean, Reality

Interview with Geoff Andrew, www.theguardian.com. September 27, 2001.

Honey! Bring down a copy of my will - and an eraser!

Witty, Humorous, Honey

"Fictional character: Bob". "Everyone Says I Love You", 1996.

What has gotten into you lately? Save a little craziness for menopause!

Funny, Humor, Littles

How does gravity work? And if it were to cease suddenly, would certain restaurants still require a jacket?

Funny, Humor, Science

"Mere Anarchy", 2007.

To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering one must not love. But then one suffers from not loving. Therefore, to love is to suffer; not to love is to suffer; to suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love. To be happy, then, is to suffer, but suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore, to be happy one must love or love to suffer or suffer from too much happiness.

Love, Funny, Life

Love and Death, www.imdb.com. 1975.

Not think of death as an end, but think of it more as a very effective way of cutting down on your expenses.

Inspirational, Death, Cutting

"Fictional character: Boris". "Love and Death", www.imdb.com. June 10, 1975.

It's very hard to keep your spirits up. You've got to keep selling yourself a bill of goods, and some people are better at lying to themselves than others. If you face reality too much, it kills you.... you've got to find an answer to the question: Why go on?

Lying, Reality, People

"Cloud In the Silver Lining" by David Segal, www.washingtonpost.com. July 26, 2006.

If my films make one more person miserable, I'll feel I have done my job.

Funny, Witty, Jobs

Woody Allen, Robert E. Kapsis, Kathie Coblentz (2006). “Woody Allen: Interviews”, p.44, Univ. Press of Mississippi

I asked the girl if she could bring a sister for me. She did. Sister Maria Teresa. It was a very slow evening. We discussed the New Testament. We agreed that He was very well adjusted for an only child.

Girl, Children, Only Child

A deranged person is supposed to have the strength of ten men. I have the strength of one small boy... with polio.

Witty, Humorous, Boys

"Fictional character: Kleinman". "Shadows and Fog", www.imdb.com. 1991.

I don't get depressed; I grow a tumor instead.

Grows, Tumors

And my parents finally realize I'm kidnapped and they snap into action immediately: They rent out my room.

Witty, Humorous, Parenting

In Eric Lax Woody Allen and his Comedy (1975) ch. 1

When I asked my mother where babies came from, she thought I said rabies. She said you get them from being bitten by a dog. The next week, a woman on my block gave birth to triplets... I thought she'd been bitten by a Great Dane.

Mother, Dog, Baby

"Sleeper". www.imdb.com. 1973.

Honey, there's a spider in your bathroom the size of a Buick.

Annie Hall, Spiders, Honey

"Annie Hall". www.imdb.com. 1977.

Let's say there was no terrorism whatsoever and we were all very nice to one another and we were all kind, we still would be faced with an extremely cruel and hostile universe and existence and so I'm a great pessimist and I feel that it's impossible really to be happy, and that the best you can hope for is to be distracted.

Nice, Would Be, Impossible

Interview with Geoff Andrew, www.theguardian.com. September 27, 2001.

Show business is dog eat dog. It's worse than dog eat dog. It's dog doesn't return dog's phone calls.

Dog, Phones, Return

Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.

Death, Witty, Humorous

Events unfold so unpredictably, so unfairly, human happiness does not seem to be included in the design of creation. It is only we, with our capacity to love that give meaning to the indifferent universe. And yet, most human beings seem to have the ability to keep trying and even try to find joy from simple things, like their family, their work, and from the hope that future generations might understand more.

Simple, Capacity To Love, Giving

I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me.

Inspirational, Funny, Witty

Audio CD "Woody Allen: Stand-Up Comic 1964-1968", 1999.

With me; it's just a genetic dissatisfaction with everything.

Dissatisfaction

Life is unresolved, confusing, bewildering, puzzling, ambiguous. You don't really know what's going to happen. The future is uncertain for everybody.

Confusing, Life Is, Uncertain

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