Fun Quotes - Page 15

Life is a waste of time and time is a waste of life, so let's all get wasted and have the time of our lives.

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

I've always wanted to go to Switzerland to see what the army does with those wee red knives.

I ain't no movie star, man. I'm a booty star.

Some tortures are physical And some are mental, But the one that is both Is dental.

I'd rather have 1% of the effort of 100 men than 100% of my own effort.

Don't be afraid of opposition. Remember, a kite rises against, not with, the wind.

First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.

An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets the more interested he is in her.

In life, you're along for the ride either way. You might as well make it fun!

I am not afraid of death. I just don't want to be there when it happens.

I look into eyes, shake their hand, pat their back, and wish them luck, but I am thinking, I am going to bury you.

Politics: Poli a Latin word meaning many and tics meaning bloodsucking creatures.

A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age.

Most of the good programmers do programming not because they expect to get paid or get adulation by the public, but because it is fun to program.

The only reason some people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.

Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.

If you believe in Odin and Thor, people laugh themselves to death. While it's okay to believe in a man who turned water into wine, and walked on water

God created sex. Priests created marriage.

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.

Whoever said money can't buy happiness didn't know where to shop

When I'm not in a relationship, I shave one leg. That way, when I sleep, it feels like I'm with a woman.

At age 20, we worry about what others think of us. At age 40, we don't care what they think of us. At age 60, we discover they haven't been thinking of us at all.

The best advice I've ever received is, 'No one else knows what they're doing either.

The only time my education was interrupted was when I was in school.