Demetri Martin Quotes - Page 13

There are very few songs about just liking someone as a friend.

Clowns have no respect for pie.

I am what I eat. And I am this especially when I bite my nails.

My family was fine, it's just a different way of going about life. Creativity was not something that was isolated and identified and valued.

I like stand-up. But I'd also like a family and house and a yard. I want to work with a lot of people, have colleagues; and on good film sets, there's people there that work with the same people for years and years. I love that collaborative spirit in that medium. Comedy is a lot more solitary.

I don't know what the long form of OK is. I wanna think it's okie dokie. 'I'm okie dokie. I'm a little shaken up, but I'm okie dokie.' 'The good news is, she's okie dokie. The surgery went fine.'

Artistically, I find jokes really satisfying aesthetically, because there's something great about getting an idea down to a sentence or two.

I wanna put stickers on turtles... I don't know why.

I do come across people who don't like me, don't like my comedy, don't think it's funny, it's too cutesy, or whatever they hate. And it's like, "Okay. That's your opinion. Somebody liked it, so that's good." Hopefully it balances out.

Conclusions are based in time. We live in time. So any definition of success is bound up with time. With other things you can say, "Can I yo-yo? Can I juggle?" Usually you have a pretty small window in which to get your answer. Stand-up is different. You can't do stand-up for one night and say, "Am I a funny stand-up comedian?" In two months or two years you'll start to realize it.

I feel so fortunate to be one of the lucky ones who is so grateful and appreciative to know such great synonyms for thankful.

I wonder if, as a society, we will ever be able to call someone a jive tofurkey.

I don't know if I'll ever be a master at anything, but I think that's a mistake for me personally. I don't know how much it's about the journey, but it's more about the process.

Rock is fine. No structural damage to rock. Rock can break through paper at any point. Just say the word. Paper sucks.

A musical is the same as a burlap sack, I would not want to be in either

Stand up is really fun because if I think of a joke or a funny idea, then I can just go and tell some people and if they laugh, they laugh right away.

A drunk driver is very dangerous. So is a drunk backseat driver if he's persuasive.

If I had to pick one artist to tile my bathroom I would go with MC Escher.

I like birthdays. Every time someone is born, that's just like bringing more cake into the world.

There is no I in Team, unless you count the vertical part of the T.

When I am given a multiple choice test I choose not to take it.

If I could control the behavior of fat guys I would make them ride mopeds more often.

Tic Tacs are the maracas of breath mints.

I like digital cameras, because they enable you to reminisce immediately.

When there's someone who's dead and then someone does something that that person would not have liked, they say that that person is spinning in their grave. But I don't understand why they say that. Why is spinning the way that a corpse shows disapproval?