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Woody Allen Quotes - Page 7

All Quotes Age Anxiety Art Atheism Atheist Baseball Basketball Beer Boredom Character Childhood Children Choices College Comedy Concentration Cooking Country Crime Culture Cynicism Death Desire Divorce Drama Driving Dying Education Enthusiasm Failing Falling In Love Feelings Fighting Film Food Fun Funny Genius Getting Older Giving God Hate Heart Heaven Hell Hilarious Home House Human Nature Humanity Hurt Imagination Immortality Inspiration Inspirational Inspiring Kissing Laughter Liberty Life Logic Love Love And Death Love Life Luck Lying Mankind Marriage Maturity Meaning Of Life Money Morning Pain Past Philosophy Politics Quality Reading Reality Regret Reincarnation Religion Running Sarcasm School Science Sleep Smoking Stupidity Style Success Suffering Sunday Talent Time Today Tragedy Universe Waiting Wall War Water Wife Winning Writing

What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream?

What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream?

Dream, Witty, Humorous

"Without Feathers". Book by Woody Allen (from the play "God"), May 12, 1975.

You can't ride two horses with one behind.

Horse, Two, Alabama

Woody Allen (1987). “Three Films of Woody Allen”, Vintage

I sold my memoirs of my love life to Parker Brothers and they are going to make a game out of it.

Funny, Brother, Love Life

I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.

Funny, Life, Thankful

"Positive Words, Powerful Results". Book by Hal Urban (p. 105), 2004.

My wife and I thought we were in love, but it turned out to be benign

Inspiration, Wife, Benign

A fast word about oral contraception. I was involved in an extremely good example of oral contraception two weeks ago. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, she said 'no'.

Girl, Two, Bed

"Standup Comic". 1999.

You mellow too much you ripen and rot.

Maturity, Too Much, Mellow

All literature is a footnote to Faust. I have no idea what I mean by that.

Mean, Ideas, Literature

Woody Allen (2007). “The Insanity Defense: The Complete Prose”, Random House Incorporated

My success has allowed me to strike out with a higher class of women.

Funny, Success, Class

The great question of philosophy remains: If life is meaningless, what can be done about alphabet soup?

Philosophy, Done, Soup

Woody Allen (2007). “Mere Anarchy”, Random House Incorporated

Photons have mass? I didn’t even know they were Catholic.

Witty, Humorous, Catholic

It is clear the future holds great opportunities. It also holds pitfalls. The trick will be to avoid the pitfalls, seize the opportunities, and get back home by six o'clock.

Life, Graduation, Home

Woody Allen (2007). “The Insanity Defense: The Complete Prose”, Random House Incorporated

I just can't listen to any more Wagner, you know...I'm starting to get the urge to conquer Poland.

Witty, Humorous, Conquer

I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own.

Funny, Witty, Sex

What' s the matter with me? Why can't I be cool?

Matter, Being Cool

Woody Allen, Richard J. Anobile (1977). “Woody Allen's Play it again, Sam”, Not Avail

The wicked at heart probably know something.

Witty, Humorous, Heart

Woody Allen (2007). “The Insanity Defense: The Complete Prose”, Random House Incorporated

I was a nervous child, I was a bedwetter. I used to sleep with an electric blanket and I was constantly electrocuting myself.

Funny, Children, Humor

I don't know enough to be incompetent.

Enough, Incompetent, Knows

"Fictional character: Kleinman". Shadows and Fog, www.imdb.com. 1991.

I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead - not sick, not wounded - dead.

Witty, Food, Oysters

"Don't Drink the Water: A Comedy in Two Acts". Play by Woody Allen (p. 26), 1967.

I'm a nice person! I have healthy life drives and goals! I don't drink, I don't smoke. I would never force myself sexually on a blind person!

Nice, Goal, Healthy

No, I don't think you're paranoid. I think you're the opposite of paranoid. I think you walk around with the insane delusion that people like you.

Thinking, Opposites, People

"Fictional character: Harry Block". "Deconstructing Harry", 1997.

I am plagued by doubts.

Doubt

Woody Allen (2007). “The Insanity Defense: The Complete Prose”, Random House Incorporated

When you are dead, it is hard to find the light switch.

Light, Hard

Woody Allen (2007). “The Insanity Defense: The Complete Prose”, Random House Incorporated

Skeptic that I was as an adolescent, I had recently come to believe in a Supreme Being after thumbing through a Victoria's Secret catalogue.

Funny, God, Humorous

Woody Allen (2007). “Mere Anarchy”, Random House Incorporated

I'm so excited-I think today I'm going to brush all my teeth.

Thinking, Teeth, Today

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