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Woody Allen Quotes - Page 2

All Quotes Age Anxiety Art Atheism Atheist Baseball Basketball Beer Boredom Character Childhood Children Choices College Comedy Concentration Cooking Country Crime Culture Cynicism Death Desire Divorce Drama Driving Dying Education Enthusiasm Failing Falling In Love Feelings Fighting Film Food Fun Funny Genius Getting Older Giving God Hate Heart Heaven Hell Hilarious Home House Human Nature Humanity Hurt Imagination Immortality Inspiration Inspirational Inspiring Kissing Laughter Liberty Life Logic Love Love And Death Love Life Luck Lying Mankind Marriage Maturity Meaning Of Life Money Morning Pain Past Philosophy Politics Quality Reading Reality Regret Reincarnation Religion Running Sarcasm School Science Sleep Smoking Stupidity Style Success Suffering Sunday Talent Time Today Tragedy Universe Waiting Wall War Water Wife Winning Writing

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.

Inspirational, Funny, Death

Quoted in Eric Lax, Woody Allen and His Comedy (1975)

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

Inspirational, Funny, Inspiring

Without Feathers "The Early Essays" (1975)

I took a test in Existentialism. I left all the answers blank and got 100.

Funny, Life, Witty

We are all interested in the future, for that is where you and I are going to spend the rest of our lives.

Witty, Humorous, Books And Movies

I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.

Funny, Life, Humor

Human beings are divided into mind and body. The mind embraces all the nobler aspirations, like poetry and philosophy, but the body has all the fun.

Fun, Philosophy, Mind

"Love and Death". www.imdb.com. 1975.

Even if God exists, he's done such a terrible job, it's a wonder people don't get together and file a class action suit against him.

God, Jobs, Class

Why ruin a good story with the truth?

Stories, Ruins, Good Story

All people know the same truth. Our lives consist of how we choose to distort it.

Inspiring, Witty, Funny Inspirational

Woody Allen (1998). “Deconstructing Harry”

I want to tell you a terrific story about oral contraception. I asked this girl to sleep with me and she said 'No.

Funny, Girl, Crazy

I am not afraid of death. I just don't want to be there when it happens.

Inspirational, Funny, Life

"Death: A Comedy in One Act". Book by Woody Allen, 1975.

Standing in a garage no more makes you a car than standing in a church makes you a Christian.

Christian, Witty, Humorous

Don't worry, I know almost exactly what I'm doing.

Worry, Knows

The whole concept of awards is silly. I cannot abide by the judgment of other people, because if you accept it when they say you deserve an award, then you have to accept it when they say you don't.

Silly, Awards, People

Biography/Personal Quotes, www.imdb.com.

I'm really a timid person - I was beaten up by Quakers

Inspiration, Quaker, Persons

If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.

Life, Laughter, Hipster

Everybody knows how awful the world is and what a terrible situation it is and each person distorts it in a certain way that enables him to get through. Some people distort it with religious things. Some people distort it with sports, with money, with love, with art, and they all have their own nonsense about what makes it meaningful, and all but nothing makes it meaningful. These things definitely serve a certain function, but in the end they all fail to give life meaning and everyone goes to his grave in a meaningless way.

Meaningful, Sports, Religious

"Woody Allen's World: Whatever Works". Interview with Robert E. Lauder, www.commonwealmagazine.org. April 15, 2010.

My analyst warned me, but you were so beautiful I got another analyst.

Beautiful, Manhattan, Analysts

"Manhattan". www.imdb.com. 1979.

The difference between sex and death is, death you can do alone and nobody laughs at you.

Sex, Differences, Laughing

I'm at the stage of life when if a girl says no to me I'm profoundly grateful to her.

Girl, Grateful, Stage

A wife lasts only for the length of the marriage, but an ex-wife is there for the rest of your life.

Breakup, Drinking, Divorce

Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once.

Funny, Time, Inspiration

"Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

Who's the bigger idiot, the idiot or the idiot who gets fooled by the idiot?

Idiot, Bigger, Fooled

If you take a frown and turn it upside down, the person you are holding by the ankles will soon pass out.

God, Stupidity, Ankles

Where did we come from? Where are we going? Is there possibility of a group discount?

Groups, Possibility, Discounts

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