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Woody Allen Quotes - Page 5

All Quotes Age Anxiety Art Atheism Atheist Baseball Basketball Beer Boredom Character Childhood Children Choices College Comedy Concentration Cooking Country Crime Culture Cynicism Death Desire Divorce Drama Driving Dying Education Enthusiasm Failing Falling In Love Feelings Fighting Film Food Fun Funny Genius Getting Older Giving God Hate Heart Heaven Hell Hilarious Home House Human Nature Humanity Hurt Imagination Immortality Inspiration Inspirational Inspiring Kissing Laughter Liberty Life Logic Love Love And Death Love Life Luck Lying Mankind Marriage Maturity Meaning Of Life Money Morning Pain Past Philosophy Politics Quality Reading Reality Regret Reincarnation Religion Running Sarcasm School Science Sleep Smoking Stupidity Style Success Suffering Sunday Talent Time Today Tragedy Universe Waiting Wall War Water Wife Winning Writing

Nietzsche says that we will live the same life, over and over again. God - I'll have to sit through the Ice Capades again.

Nietzsche says that we will live the same life, over and over again. God - I'll have to sit through the Ice Capades again.

Ice, Comedian, Rebirth

Nothing like a little post-traumatic stress disorder to make your day complete.

Stress, Littles, Disorder

A stockbroker is someone who invests other people's money until it is all gone.

People, Gone, Stockbrokers

If my soul exists without my body I am convinced all my clothes will be loose-fitting

Clothes, Soul, Body

Woody Allen (2007). “The Insanity Defense: The Complete Prose”, Random House Incorporated

I can levitate birds. No one cares.

Witty, Humorous, Bird

I am two with nature.

Two

I don't believe in an afterlife, but I'm taking an extra pair of underwear just in case.

Funny, Believe, Afterlife

I think crime pays. The hours are good, you travel a lot

Thinking, Pay, Hours

1969 Take the Money and Run.

It's a match made in heaven...by a retarded angel.

Love, Sarcastic, Angel

The Curse of the Jade Scorpion, www.imdb.com. 2001.

If you aren't failing, you aren't trying.

Trying, Failing, Ifs

Men would make love with any number of women ... even total strangers, while females were selective. They were catering to the demands of one small egg. While males had millions of frantic sperms screaming: "Let us out, let us out!".

Men, Eggs, Numbers

Husbands and Wives, www.imdb.com. 1992.

If you're born with a gift, to behave like it's an achievement is not right.

Achievement, Born, Behave

"Woody Allen: What I've Learned". Interview with Cal Fussman, www.esquire.com. June 4, 2013.

I was in analysis for years because of a traumatic childhood; I was breast-fed through falsies.

Years, Childhood, Analysis

Is it better to be the lover or the loved one? Neither, if your cholesterol is over six hundred. By love, of course, I refer to romantic love -- the love between man and woman, rather than between mother and child, or a boy and his dog, or two headwaiters.

Love, Mother, Dog

Woody Allen (2007). “The Insanity Defense: The Complete Prose”, Random House Incorporated

Sex between a man and a woman can be absolutely wonderful; provided you get between the right man and the right woman.

Sex, Men, Wonderful

When a doctor makes a mistake, it's best to bury the subject.

Mistake, Doctors, Subjects

Heaven knows, we all make mistakes. That's life - and chess.

Mistake, Heaven, Chess

Woody Allen (2007). “The Insanity Defense: The Complete Prose”, Random House Incorporated

The only thing standing between me and greatness is me.

Witty, Humorous, Greatness

Woody Allen (2006). “Woody Allen: Interviews”

My luck is getting worse and worse. Last night, for instance, I was mugged by a quaker.

Funny, Humor, Night

"The Good Luck Book". Book by Stefan Bechtel, Laurence Roy Stains (p. 371), 1997.

Some guy hit my fender, and I told him, 'Be fruitful and multiply,' but not in those words.

Funny, Hilarious, Humor

Error, no keyboard. Press F1 to continue.

Funny, Life, Errors

Eternity is really long, especially near the end.

Funny, Hilarious, Long

My parents stayed together for forty years. But that was out of spite.

Years, Parent, Together

I don't know the question, but sex is definitely the answer.

Life, Sex, Answers

Human existence is a brutal experience to me... it's a brutal, meaningless experience - an agonizing, meaningless experience with some oases, delight, some charm and peace, but these are just small oases. Overall, it is a brutal, terrible experience, and so it salvation is what can you do to alleviate the agony of the human condition, the human predicament? That is what interests me the most.

Agony, Oasis, Agonizing

"Woody Allen's World: Whatever Works". Interview with Robert E. Lauder, www.commonwealmagazine.org. April 15, 2010.

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