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Woody Allen Quotes - Page 4

All Quotes Age Anxiety Art Atheism Atheist Baseball Basketball Beer Boredom Character Childhood Children Choices College Comedy Concentration Cooking Country Crime Culture Cynicism Death Desire Divorce Drama Driving Dying Education Enthusiasm Failing Falling In Love Feelings Fighting Film Food Fun Funny Genius Getting Older Giving God Hate Heart Heaven Hell Hilarious Home House Human Nature Humanity Hurt Imagination Immortality Inspiration Inspirational Inspiring Kissing Laughter Liberty Life Logic Love Love And Death Love Life Luck Lying Mankind Marriage Maturity Meaning Of Life Money Morning Pain Past Philosophy Politics Quality Reading Reality Regret Reincarnation Religion Running Sarcasm School Science Sleep Smoking Stupidity Style Success Suffering Sunday Talent Time Today Tragedy Universe Waiting Wall War Water Wife Winning Writing

Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.

Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.

Funny, Anniversary, Sex

"I give up" by Emily Wilson, www.theguardian.com. August 5, 2003.

Man cannot live by bread alone. Every once in awhile he needs a salad.

Men, Needs, Salad

Chastity is curable, if detected early.

Chastity, Ifs

I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it's the government.

Funny, Witty, Humorous

I had an IQ test. The results came back negative.

God, Stupidity, Negative

The best things in life are censored.

Things In Life, Best Things In Life, Best Things

I idolized Superman when I was younger. I thought he and I had a lot in common. He was always going into phonebooths and taking off all his clothes.

Clothes, Common, Idolized

"Woody Allen in Hannah and Her Sisters". Comedy, Drama, 1986.

The prettiest women are almost always the most boring, and that is why some people feel there is no God.

People, Boring, There Is No God

Tradition is the illusion of permanance.

Tradition, Illusion

Woody Allen, Robert E. Kapsis, Kathie Coblentz (2006). “Woody Allen: Interviews”, p.178, Univ. Press of Mississippi

To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering one must not love. But then one suffers from not loving. Therefore, to love is to suffer. Not to love is to suffer.

Love Is, Movie Love, Suffering

"Love and Death". www.imdb.com. 1975.

I have no idea what I am doing but incompetence has never prevented me from plunging in with enthusiasm.

Witty, Humorous, Ideas

The study of economy usually shows us that the best time for purchase was last year.

Years, Lasts, Study

I have one last request. Don't use embalming fluid on me; I want to be stuffed with crab meat.

Meat, Use, Want

My relationship with death remains the same - I'm strongly against it.

Remains

"Woody Allen's woes over ageing and death" by Fiona Pryor, news.bbc.co.uk. May 15, 2010.

I don't want to move to a city where the only cultural advantage is being able to make a right turn on a red light.

Moving, Cities, Light

Annie Hall, www.imdb.com. 1977.

I once stole a pornographic book that was printed in braille. I used to rub the dirty parts.

Funny, Dirty, Book

"Bananas". www.imdb.com. 1971.

It is impossible to travel faster than light, and certainly not desirable, as one’s hat keeps blowing off.

Funny, Humorous, Science

Woody Allen (2007). “The Insanity Defense: The Complete Prose”, Random House Incorporated

What a world. It could be so wonderful if it wasn't for certain people.

People, World, Wonderful

"Radio Days". www.imdb.com. 1987.

I don't believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.

Funny, Death, Believe

I've become the person I've always hated, but I'm happier.

Feelings, Hated, Persons

"Fictional character: Robin Simon". "Celebrity", www.imdb.com. 1998.

No Matter what you do there will be critics.

Wise, Matter, No Matter What

What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet.

Inspirational, Funny, Witty

Woody Allen (2007). “The Insanity Defense: The Complete Prose”, Random House Incorporated

I carry a bullet in my breast pocket. Once, a crazy evangelist threw a bible at me, which would have gone through my heart if it wasn't for the bullet.

Crazy, Heart, Pockets

Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon.

Death, Depressing, Funny Life

I wish I could think of a positive point to leave you with. Will you take two negative points?

Funny, Clever, Smart

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