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Woody Allen Quotes - Page 6

All Quotes Age Anxiety Art Atheism Atheist Baseball Basketball Beer Boredom Character Childhood Children Choices College Comedy Concentration Cooking Country Crime Culture Cynicism Death Desire Divorce Drama Driving Dying Education Enthusiasm Failing Falling In Love Feelings Fighting Film Food Fun Funny Genius Getting Older Giving God Hate Heart Heaven Hell Hilarious Home House Human Nature Humanity Hurt Imagination Immortality Inspiration Inspirational Inspiring Kissing Laughter Liberty Life Logic Love Love And Death Love Life Luck Lying Mankind Marriage Maturity Meaning Of Life Money Morning Pain Past Philosophy Politics Quality Reading Reality Regret Reincarnation Religion Running Sarcasm School Science Sleep Smoking Stupidity Style Success Suffering Sunday Talent Time Today Tragedy Universe Waiting Wall War Water Wife Winning Writing

I want to return to the womb, anyone's.

I want to return to the womb, anyone's.

Want, Return, Womb

There is something about big cities that turns me on, and for whatever mysterious reason, places like New York and Paris inspire me. I think it's because cities represent civilization, and as crime-ridden and broken down as some of them are, it's still better than skipping through a meadow.

New York, Thinking, Civilization

"Woody Allen by Moonlight". Interview with Uzoamaka Maduka, www.interviewmagazine.com. December 16, 2011.

Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it.

Love, Funny, Sex

"A Midsummer Night's Sex Comedy", 1982.

I keep wondering if there is an afterlife, and if there is will they be able to break a twenty?

Afterlife, Twenties, Able

Woody Allen (2007). “The Insanity Defense: The Complete Prose”, Random House Incorporated

As a boy, I was ashamed to wear glasses. I memorized the eye chart, and then on the test they asked essay questions.

Funny, Humor, Eye

I did not marry the first girl that I fell in love with, because there was a tremendous religious conflict, at the time. She was an atheist, and I was an agnostic.

Girl, Witty, Religious

There's an old joke - um... two elderly women are at a Catskill mountain resort, and one of 'em says, "Boy, the food at this place is really terrible." The other one says, "Yeah, I know; and such small portions." Well, that's essentially how I feel about life - full of loneliness, and misery, and suffering, and unhappiness, and it's all over much too quickly.

Loneliness, Boys, Elderly

Annie Hall, www.imdb.com. 1977.

How am I immature? Intellectually, emotionally, and sexually. Yeah, but in what other ways?

Immature, Way, Yeah

See, I never gain an ounce, because, you know, my anxiety acts like aerobics.

Anxiety, Gains, Knows

Every hooker I ever speak to tells me that it beats the hell out of waitressing.

Speak, Hell, Beats

Woody Allen (1998). “Deconstructing Harry”

There is no advantage getting older. You don't get smarter, you don't get wiser, you don't get more mellow, you don't get more kindly, nothing good happens. Your back hurts more, you get more indigestion, your eyesight isn't as good, you need a hearing aid. It's a bad business getting old and I would advise you not to do it if you can avoid it. It doesn't have a romantic quality.

Hurt, Getting Older, Quality

"Woody Allen: 'The Whole Thing Is Tragic'". The Talks Interview, the-talks.com. July 20, 2012.

I've had bad luck in my two previous marriages. The first wife left me, and the second did not.

Two, Wife, Luck

My father owned a small piece of land. He carried it with him wherever he went.

Father, Land, Pieces

God is either cruel or incompetent.

Incompetent

Don't knock masturbation. It's sex with someone I love.

Movie, Sex, Humorous

Annie Hall (motion picture) (1977). Cowritten with Marshall Brickman.

I ran into Isosceles. He had a great idea for a new triangle!

Ideas, Triangles, Great Idea

There will be no major solution to the suffering of humanity until we reach some understanding of who we are, what the purpose of creation was, what happens after death. Until those questions are resolved we are caught.

Philosophy, Understanding, Humanity

I'm not anti-social. I'm just not social.

Witty, Humorous, Geek

For the first year of marriage I had basically a bad attitude. I tended to place my wife underneath a pedestal.

Marriage, Attitude, Years

Therefore, to be unhappy one must love, or love to suffer, or suffer from too much happiness. I hope you're getting this down.

Movie Love, Suffering, Unhappy

"Love and Death". www.imdb.com. 1975.

God is silent. Now if only man would shut up.

God, Witty, Humorous

No matter what the shrinks, or the pundits, or the self-help books tell you, when it comes to love, it's luck.

Love, Book, Self

"Fictional character: Robin Simon". "Celebrity", www.imdb.com. 1998.

he's a genius, she's a genius, wow, you know alot of geniuses, you should meet some stupid people sometime, you might learn something

Witty, Stupid, Humorous

[The universe is] haphazard, morally neutral, and unimaginably violent.

Violent, Haphazard, Universe

"September", 1987.

This stuff tastes awful; I could have made a fortune selling it in my health-food store.

Stuff, Awful, Taste

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