Wit Quotes - Page 6

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?

Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.

Cultivate your curves - they may be dangerous but they won't be avoided.

Anything worth doing is worth doing slowly.

Nothing can be accomplished without love.

C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot; C++ makes it harder, but when you do it blows your whole leg off.

The way you get meaning into your life is to devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community around you, and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning.

Never mistake motion for action.

Every two years the American politics industry fills the airwaves with the most virulent, scurrilous, wall-to-wall character assassination of nearly every political practitioner in the country - and then declares itself puzzled that America has lost trust in its politicians.

An intellectual is a person who's found one thing that's more interesting than sex.

Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite, and furthermore always carry a small snake.

Remember that you have a choice in what you see. If you choose to see a person's darkness, you strengthen your darkness within. If you choose to see their light, you shine from the inside out.

There's nothing better than good sex. But bad sex? A peanut butter and jelly sandwich is better than bad sex.

I exercise strong self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.

I am convinced that when Nietzsche came to Switzerland and went insane, it was not because of venereal disease, though he did have this disease. Rather, it was because he understood that insanity was the only philosophic answer if the infinite-personal God does not exist.

My computer beat me at checkers, but I sure beat it at kickboxing.

It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate.

Some men change their party for the sake of their principles; others their principles for the sake of their party

There is Auschwitz, and so there cannot be God.

A house without love ain't a home.

Nothing spoils a good story like the arrival of an eyewitness.

Women are wiser than men because they know less and understand more.

Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe.

Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.