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Dave Barry Quotes about Travel

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It always rains on tents. Rainstorms will travel thousands of miles, against prevailing winds for the opportunity to rain on a tent.

It always rains on tents. Rainstorms will travel thousands of miles, against prevailing winds for the opportunity to rain on a tent.

Travel, Rain, Opportunity

Dave Barry (2010). “Dave Barry's Only Travel Guide You'll Ever Need”, p.158, Ballantine Books

I suspect that LaGuardia is an elaborate prank, and New York has a real airport nearby that only locals know about.

Funny, Travel, New York

Twitter post from May 03, 2010

And that's the wonderful thing about family travel: it provides you with experiences that will remain locked forever in the scar tissue of your mind.

Travel, Memorable, Forever

Dave Barry (2010). “Dave Barry's Only Travel Guide You'll Ever Need”, p.53, Ballantine Books

Americans who travel abroad for the first time are often shocked to discover that, despite all the progress that has been made in the last 30 years, many foreign people still speak in foreign languages

Travel, Inspirational Life, Learning

Dave Barry (2010). “Dave Barry's Greatest Hits”, p.259, Ballantine Books

Spain travel tip: If bathroom genders are indicated by flamingos, the boy flamingo is the one with a hat. I learned this the hard way.

Funny, Travel, Boys

Twitter post from Jul 10, 2009

The major advantage of domestic travel is that, with a few exceptions such as Miami, most domestic locations are conveniently situated right here in the United States.

Travel, Fun, United States

Dave Barry (2010). “Dave Barry's Only Travel Guide You'll Ever Need”, p.14, Ballantine Books

Another well-known Paris landmark is the Arc de Triomphe, a moving monument to the many brave women and men who have died trying to visit it.

Travel, Fun, Moving

"Dave Barry's Only Travel Guide You'll Ever Need". Book by Dave Barry, 1991.

The ultimate camping trip was the Lewis and Clark expedition.

Travel, Journey, Camping

Be advised that there is no parking in Europe.

Funny, Travel, Europe

Twitter post from Jul 08, 2009

San Francisco leads the world in the category of Most People On The Sidewalk Holding Conversations With Purely Imaginary Companions.

Funny, Travel, San Francisco

Twitter post from Jun 12, 2009

Just get on any major highway, and eventually it will dead-end in a Disney parking area large enough to have its own climate, populated by large nomadic families who have been trying to find their cars since the Carter administration.

Travel, Car, Trying

Dave Barry (2010). “Dave Barry's Only Travel Guide You'll Ever Need”, p.57, Ballantine Books

Never trust anything you read in a travel article.

Funny, Travel, Never Trust

Dave Barry (2010). “Dave Barry's Greatest Hits”, p.262, Ballantine Books

The Spanish government, having run completely out of money, secretly sold the Pyrenees to China, and is now separated from France only by traffic cones.

Funny, Running, Travel

When to arrive at the airport?: You should be at the airport already.

Travel, Airports, Should

Never trust anything you read in a travel article. Travel articles appear in publications that sell large, expensive advertisements to tourism-related industries, and these industries do not wish to see articles with headlines like: URUGUAY: DON'T BOTHER.

Funny, Travel, Wish

Dave Barry (2010). “Dave Barry's Greatest Hits”, p.262, Ballantine Books

Greyhound Bus Lines motto: "We Stop For Some Damn Thing Every 200 Yards."

Funny, Travel, Yards

Dear Hotel People: We don't need a cheeseball clock-radio. WE NEED PLACES TO PLUG STUFF IN. Thank you.

Funny, Travel, People

Twitter post from May 05, 2011

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