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Dave Barry Quotes about Beer

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Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.

Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.

Dave Barry
Book, Drinking, Beer
Dave Barry (2012). “The Greatest Invention in the History of Mankind Is Beer: And Other Manly Insights from Dave Barry”, p.112, Andrews McMeel Publishing

Recently I began to feel this void in my life, even after meals, and I said to myself, "Dave, all you do with your spare time is sit around and drink beer. You need a hobby." So I got a hobby. I make beer.

Dave Barry
Beer, Hobbies, Meals
Dave Barry (2010). “Dave Barry's Greatest Hits”, p.17, Ballantine Books

In the Bowling Alley of Tomorrow, there will even be machines that wear rental shoes and throw the ball for you. Your sole function will be to drink beer.

Dave Barry
Drinking, Beer, Shoes
Dave Barry (1994). “The World According to Dave Barry”, Outlet

Never allow a child to spend all of his allowance. Insist that he set aside a certain amount of money every week and put it in a safe place, where you can get it if you need to buy beer.

Dave Barry
Children, Beer, Needs
Dave Barry (2006). “Dave Barry's Money Secrets: Like: Why Is There a Giant Eyeball on the Dollar?”, p.88, Crown Archetype

Hardware: This is the part of the computer that stops working when you spill beer on it.

Dave Barry
Beer, Computer, Hardware
Dave Barry (1997). “Dave Barry in Cyberspace”, Ballantine Books

The great thing about golf - and this is the reason why a lot of health experts like me recommend it - you can drink beer and ride in a cart while you play.

Dave Barry
Beer, Golf, Play

Your guess is as good as mine. Better probably, because you haven't had four beers.

Dave Barry
Beer, Four, Mines
Dave Barry (2010). “Dave Barry's Greatest Hits”, p.217, Ballantine Books

Fortunately the boat we rented had a motor in it You will definitely want this feature on your sailboat too, because if you put up the sails, the boat tips way over, and you could spill your beer.

Dave Barry
Funny, Beer, Sailing
Dave Barry (2010). “Dave Barry's Greatest Hits”, p.226, Ballantine Books

What may seem depressing or even tragic to one person may seem like an absolute scream to another person, especially if he has had between four and seven beers.

Dave Barry
Depressing, Beer, Being Sad
Dave Barry (2010). “Dave Barry's Greatest Hits”, p.1, Ballantine Books

All other nations are drinking Ray Charles beer and we are drinking Barry Manilow.

Dave Barry
Humorous, Drinking, Beer
Dave Barry (2010). “Dave Barry's Greatest Hits”, p.18, Ballantine Books

The letters in 'Brace Beemer' can be arranged to spell 'Embrace Beer.'

Dave Barry
Drinking, Beer, Letters

This ball was so crowded that it took me - a trained professional journalist with vast experience in this area - forty five minutes to get a beer.

Dave Barry
Funny, Beer, Balls
"Boogers Are My Beat". Book by Dave Barry, September, 2003.

If God had wanted us to spend all our time fretting about the problems of home ownership, He would never have created beer. This is not to say that I am recommending that you totally ignore your responsibilities as a homeowner and just sit around all day with a can of beer in your hand. No indeed, I have long been a believer in purchasing bottled beer, and pouring it into a chilled glass.

Dave Barry
Responsibility, Home, Beer
Dave Barry (2010). “Homes and Other Black Holes”, p.8, Ballantine Books

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