Dave Barry Quotes about Food

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Funny, isn't it? The airlines go to all that trouble to keep you from taking a gun on board, then they just hand you a dinner roll you could kill a musk ox with.

Funny, isn't it? The airlines go to all that trouble to keep you from taking a gun on board, then they just hand you a dinner roll you could kill a musk ox with.

Dave Barry

Funny, Humorous, Food

Dave Barry (1994). “The World According to Dave Barry”, Outlet

I had arrived at the airport one hour early so that, in accordance with airline procedures, I could stand around.

Dave Barry

Funny, Humorous, Food

Dave Barry (2011). “Dave Barry Is Not Taking This Sitting Down”, p.94, Ballantine Books

The Russians will never be able to get their missiles thought the dense protective layer of delayed flights circling over the United States in complex, puke-inducing holding patterns.

Dave Barry

Funny, Humorous, Food

Sailboats are the slowest form of transportation on Earth with the possible exeption of airline flights that go through O'Hare.

Dave Barry

Funny, Humorous, Food

In modern America, food is abundant everywhere except aboard commercial airplanes.

Dave Barry

Funny, Humorous, Food

Granted, this system is insane, but we must not let sanity stand in the way of airport security.

Dave Barry

Funny, Humorous, Food

Dave Barry (2003). “Boogers Are My Beat: More Lies, but Some Actual Journalism”, p.182, Crown Archetype

This year, U.S. airlineswill carry a record 143 million passengers, who will be in the air for 382 million hours, during which they will be fed an estimated total of four peanuts.

Dave Barry

Funny, Humorous, Food

Dave Barry (2011). “Dave Barry Is Not Taking This Sitting Down”, p.139, Ballantine Books

The only kind of seafood I trust is the fish stick, a totally featureless fish that doesn't have eyeballs or fins.

Dave Barry

Trust, Food, Lakes

Airline food is not intended for human consumption. It's intended as a form of in-flight entertainment, wherein the object is to guess what it is, starting with broad categories such as "mineral" and "linoleum."

Dave Barry

Funny, Humorous, Food

Dave Barry (2010). “Dave Barry's Only Travel Guide You'll Ever Need”, p.39, Ballantine Books

Motto of the U.S. airline industry - "We're Hoping to Have a Motto Announcement in About an Hour."

Dave Barry

Funny, Humorous, Food

If Charles Lindbergh, flying with no instruments other than a bologna sandwich, managed to cross the Atlantic and land safely on a runway completely covered with French people, why are today's airplanes, which are equipped with radar and computers and individualized liquor bottles, unable to cope with fog?

Dave Barry

Funny, Humorous, Food

Dave Barry (2010). “Dave Barry's Greatest Hits”, p.234, Ballantine Books

In Spain, attempting to obtain a chicken salad sandwich, you wind up with a dish whose name, when you look it up in your Spanish-English dictionary, turns out to mean: Eel with big abcess.

Dave Barry

Food, Mean, Wind

Speaking of food, English cuisine has received a lot of unfair criticism over the years, but the truth is that it can be a very pleasant surprise to the connoisseur of severely overcooked livestock organs served in lukewarm puddles of congealed grease. England manufactures most of the world's airline food, as well as all the food you ever ate in your junior-high-school cafeteria.

Dave Barry

Food, School, Years

"Dave Barry's Only Travel Guide You'll Ever Need". Book by Dave Barry, 1991.

Dave Barry Quotes about Food

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