Dave Barry Quotes about Home

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Babies and Other Hazards of Sex: How to Make a Tiny Person in Only 9 Months, with Tools You Probably Have around the Home.

Babies and Other Hazards of Sex: How to Make a Tiny Person in Only 9 Months, with Tools You Probably Have around the Home.

Dave Barry

Baby, Sex, Home

Dave Barry (1991). “Dave Barry's guide to life”, Random House Value Publishing

Denmark (also called Norway) is best known as the original home of the prune Danish as well as the Vikings, who wore hats with horns sticking out of them, and for a very good reason: they were insane.

Dave Barry

Home, Insane, Norway

"Dave Barry's Only Travel Guide You'll Ever Need". Book by Dave Barry, 1991.

We travel because, no matter how comfortable we are at home, there's a part of us that wants - that needs - to see new vistas, take new tours, obtain new entrees, introduce new bacteria into our intestinal tracts, learn new words for "transfusion," and have all the other travel adventures that make us want to French-kiss our doormats when we finally get home.

Dave Barry

Adventure, Home, Kissing

"Dave Barry's Only Travel Guide You'll Ever Need". Book by Dave Barry, 1991.

Most American homes have alternating current, which means that the electricty goes in one direction for a while, then goes in the other direction. This prevents harmful electron buildup in the wires.

Dave Barry

Home, Mean, One Direction

When I heated my home with oil, I used an average of 800 gallons a year. I have found that I can keep comfortably warm for an entire winter with slightly over half that quantity of beer.

Dave Barry

Fun, Humorous, Home

Basically Ken is a very gentle, home-loving person. I remember when one of his stick insects had a knee infection. He stayed up all night rubbing it with germoline and banging its head on the table.

Dave Barry

Funny, Home, Animal

The greatest Electrical Pioneer of them all was Thomas Edison Edison's first major invention, in 1877, was the phonograph, which could soon be found in thousands of American homes, where it basically sat until 1923, when the record was invented.

Dave Barry

Home, Majority, Pioneers

Unless you live in Indonesia, there should be several malls within five miles of your home. It makes no difference whatsoever which one you go to: Under federal law, all malls in the United States must have the same 42 chain stores.

Dave Barry

Home, Law, Shopping

People are afraid to own their own homes. People are afraid their own government will catch them fixing their houses.

Dave Barry

Home, Government, People

"All I Think Is That It's Stupid". Interview with Glenn Garvin, reason.com. December 1, 1994.

If God had wanted us to spend all our time fretting about the problems of home ownership, He would never have created beer. This is not to say that I am recommending that you totally ignore your responsibilities as a homeowner and just sit around all day with a can of beer in your hand. No indeed, I have long been a believer in purchasing bottled beer, and pouring it into a chilled glass.

Dave Barry

Responsibility, Home, Beer

Dave Barry (2010). “Homes and Other Black Holes”, p.8, Ballantine Books

You must prepare yourselves, young people, because Uncle Dave's generation is getting old. We are almost ready to go to the retirement home to spend the rest of our days tapping our bedpans rhythmically in time to "easy listening" rock 'n' roll. We must pass the torch on to you, and you must grasp it, ideally by the end that is not on fire.

Dave Barry

Retirement, Uncles, Home

There are two kinds of solar-heat systems: passive systems collect the sunlight that hits your home, and active systems collect the sunlight that hits your neighbors' homes, too.

Dave Barry

Humorous, Home, Two

If Peter was nine, and a new boy came to St. Norbert’s Home for Wayward Boys who said he was ten, why, then, Peter would declare himself eleven. Also, he could spit the farthest. That made him the undisputed leader.

Dave Barry

Home, Boys, Leader

Dave Barry Quotes about Home

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