Funny Quotes - Page 4

If exposure of body is modernism, then animals are more modern than humans.

Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.

Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.

A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men.This was said by gene wilder ... what does it mean ?

If you are not your own doctor, you are a fool.

One good thing about music, when it hits you, you feel no pain.

Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.

There are three kinds of men. The one that learns by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves.

We were together. I forget the rest.

The sun, with all those planets revolving around it and dependent on it, can still ripen a bunch of grapes as if it had nothing else in the universe to do.

People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.

Life is hard; it's harder if you're stupid.

Men Wanted for Dangerous Expedition: Low Wages for Long Hours of Arduous Labour under Brutal Conditions; Months of Continual Darkness and Extreme Cold; Great Risk to Life and Limb from Disease, Accidents and Other Hazards; Small Chance of Fame in Case of Success.

I can calculate the motion of heavenly bodies, but not the madness of people.

Ya know it's funny, what's happening to us. Our lives have become digital. Our friends, now virtual. And, anything you could ever wanna know is just a click away. Experiencing the world through second hand information isn't enough. If we want authenticity we have to initiate it. We will never know our full potential unless we push ourselves to find it. It's this self-discovery that inevitably takes us to the wildest places on earth.

Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.

Anyone who has the power to make you believe absurdities has the power to make you commit injustices.

Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.

If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.

If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.

Let me remind you that this is God's universe, and He is doing things His way. You may think you have a better way, but you don't have a universe to rule.

A good speech should be like a woman's skirt: long enough to cover the subject and short enough to create interest

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?