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George Carlin Quotes - Page 30

All Quotes Abortion Age Aging Airplane Alcohol Art Atheism Atheist Balance Baseball Beer Belief Boundaries Bullshit Cancer Children Choices Church Comedy Cooking Country Crime Culture Cynicism Death Drinking Dying Earth Effort Environment Evil Family Feelings Fighting Food Football Friday Fun Funny Getting High Giving Giving Up God Golf Growth Guilt Hard Work Hate Hatred Heart Hell Holiday Home Honesty House Humanity Hurt Hypocrisy Inspiration Inspirational Jesus Judging Killing Language Laughter Life Lying Memories Military Money Morning Mountain Observation Office Pain Past Peace Perspective Philosophy Pleasure Police Pot Prayer Quality Rain Reading Religion Running Safety Sarcasm School Science Selling Shame Sleep Smile Smoking Soul Speed Sports Talent Team Time Today Travel Truth Values Vegetarian Voting Waiting Wall War Water Wife Work Worry Worship Writing

What exactly is midair? Is there some other part of air besides the mid part?

What exactly is "midair"? Is there some other part of air besides the "mid" part?

Air, Exactly Is

George Carlin (1998). “Brain Droppings”, Hyperion

I have a lot of things [in me] that are childlike and innocent and sweet.

Sweet, Innocent, Childlike

I think the trend to control speech - and therefore thought - continues. Because of the freer flow of information now, there's more on the side of free thought.

Thinking, Free Thought

Baseball begins in the spring, the season of new life. Football begins in the fall, when everything's dying.

Baseball, Football, Spring

George Carlin (2007). “The Best of Brain Droppings”, p.39, Peter Pauper Press, Inc.

When you visualize the recent past, do you see it as being somewhere over on the left?

Past, Recent Past, Left

George Carlin (1998). “Brain Droppings”, Hyperion

None of the Christian religions do [interest me]. They're all outer-directed.

Christian, Interest

Source: reprints.longform.org

I think people should be allowed to do anything they want. We haven't tried that for a while. Maybe this time it'll work.

Funny, Thinking, People

George Carlin (2015). “3 x Carlin: An Orgy of George including Brain Droppings, Napalm and Silly Putty, and When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?”, p.415, Hachette UK

When I'm not actually doing my work, I'm planning it or thinking about it or reading things that on some level are transformed into performance fantasies. I have no active interests. I never go anywhere or do anything that transports me outside the boundaries of my mind.

Reading, Thinking, Mind

Interview with Sam Merrill, reprints.longform.org. January 1982.

No, there's no God, but there might be some sort of an organizing intelligence, and I think to understand it is way beyond our ability. It's certainly not a judgmental entity. It's certainly not paternalistic and all these qualities that have been attributed to God.

Intelligent, Thinking, Quality

The Onion A.V. Club, September 6, 2000.

People tell you to have a safe trip, as if you have some control over it.

People, Safe, Over It

George Carlin (1998). “Brain Droppings”, Hyperion

There are two types of people: One strives to control his environment, the other strives not to let his environment control him. I like to control my environment.

Two, People, Environment

"Read Playboy ... for the Interviews" by Max Linsky, www.slate.com. November 26, 2012.

Why should it be illegal to sell something that's perfectly legal to give away?

Giving, Should, Illegal

Song: Feminist Blowjob, Album: Parental Advisory: Explicit Lyrics

I actually was a writer who had the ability to perform his own work as opposed to a comedian who wrote his own material. So that really made me happy and changed my whole perspective.

Perspective, Comedian, Made

"Stand-up comic - Interview". The Progressive Vol. 65 Nbr.7, July 2001.

If everyone in the world sat quietly at the same time, closed their eyes and concentrated as hard as they could on peace and goodwill, all the killing and cruelty in the world would continue. And probably increase.

Peace, Eye, World

George Carlin (2004). “When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?”, Hyperion

If Helen Keller had psychic ability, would you say she had a fourth sense? What year did Jesus think it was?

Jesus, Stupid, Thinking

Most of the time people feel okay. Probably it's because at the moment they're not actually dying.

Stupid, People, Dying

George Carlin (2015). “3 x Carlin: An Orgy of George including Brain Droppings, Napalm and Silly Putty, and When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?”, p.289, Hachette UK

You know what I like about the American form of government? They've worked things out so that you're never far from a 7-Eleven.

Government, Form, Eleven

George Carlin (2002). “Napalm & Silly Putty”, Hyperion

Do you think Sammy Davis ate Junior Mints?

Stupid, Thinking, People

George Carlin (2002). “Napalm & Silly Putty”, Hyperion

I’m a high-tech low-life. A cutting edge, state-of-the-art bi-coastal multi-tasker and I can give you a gigabyte in a nanosecond!

Art, Cutting, Giving

George Carlin (2004). “When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?”, Hyperion

My left descending septal branch artery decided to close without consultation with any of my other organs. It happened on Saint Patrick's Day, 1978.

Saint, Branches, Arteries

Source: reprints.longform.org

No one has to come see my shows who doesn't like me talking about white Christians. They are free not buy a ticket. They're free to leave at any time. So I'm not imposing anything on anyone. Therefore I feel free to cross the line.

Christian, Talking, White

Source: mavericksofthemind.com

The first obligation I have is to be funny; it's my first impulse and an instinct. I like being funny and finding the jokes.

Firsts, Instinct, Impulse

Source: www.avclub.com

I believe myself to be a worthwhile and inventive performer in my own right. [And] I want to be known for what I do best.

Believe, Want, Worthwhile

My mother and I had a lot of distance between us emotionally, although, on the surface, most of the time, we appeared good and friendly, and all that. But I was a problem. I was a street kid.

Mother, Distance, Kids

Source: mavericksofthemind.com

I think of myself as an entertainer: I'm a performing entertainer, I'm a stand-up comic. But there's an artist at work here, too. One who interprets his world through his own filter.

Artist, Thinking, Filters

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