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George Carlin Quotes - Page 31

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One of the interesting things about outsidership is that underneath it there's a longing to belong. I just wish the thing I refused to belong to - the species, Western capital culture - was a little more respectable. My

One of the interesting things about "outsidership" is that underneath it there's a longing to belong. I just wish the thing I refused to belong to - the species, Western capital culture - was a little more respectable. My one true relaxation is my flotation tank, in which I can either meditate or just drift off.

Interesting, Relaxation, Wish

Interview with Ricky Young, www.motherjones.com. March/April 1997.

There was a built-in audience for the rebel in me that had been all along not expressing himself.

Rebel, Audience, Built

I just love it when I hear a little commotion, someone leaving. When I see those doors in the back . . .

Doors, Leaving, Littles

The sicker you get, the harder it is to remember if you took your medicine.

Medicine, Remember, Harder

George Carlin (1998). “Brain Droppings”, Hyperion

When people asked me, "Do you get high to go onstage?" I could never understand the question. I mean, I'd been high since eight that morning.

Morning, Mean, Eight

Source: reprints.longform.org

I use the [vulgar] words because apparently these words do not corrupt morally. I'm from the street in New York, hung around in a tough neighborhood. It was common to curse, you make your point. It's a very effective language. I try not to overdo it. It's never to shock. I know where it fits, it's never to shock. There's no shock value left in words.

New York, Trying, Use

Source: www.psychologytoday.com

The base of evil in the world is religion of any kind

Evil, World, Kind

I feel sorry for confetti. Its useful life lasts about two seconds. And it can never be used again.

Sorry, Two, Comedian

George Carlin (1998). “Brain Droppings”, Hyperion

There are a lot of little things about our bodies that we all know, but we never talk about. That's what interests me. These are practically universal experiences; nobody mentions them! Some of them are disgusting. Some of them are appallingly revolting and degrading even to the most degenerate mind. So let's get started with a couple of them.

Couple, Mind, Littles

I literally didn't know my father. My mother had been a secretary, and after she and my father split, she went back to work for an advertising executive. So my older brother and I were "latch-door kids." We went home for lunch and after school by ourselves.

Mother, Brother, Father

Source: reprints.longform.org

I believe myself to be a worthwhile and inventive performer in my own right. But I'm not in a league with Lenny [Bruce], certainly not in terms of social commentary.

Believe, League, Social

Source: reprints.longform.org

I went to my old school, where all the kids I'd been with for eight years were about to graduate. But the sisters wanted me to repeat the whole term; so I went to the principal and pleaded with her to allow me to graduate with my class. She finally agreed on the condition that I write the graduation play. It was called How Do You Spend Your Leisure Time?Catchy title, huh?

School, Kids, Writing

Source: reprints.longform.org

Weather tonight: dark. Turning partly light by morning.

Morning, Dark, Light

By the next one [albom],Occupation: Foole, I was right back into the trip again. I'm more frantic, more breathless. You can hear how sick I am. If you want to see a cokehead, just look at the pictures on the Occupation: Foole album.

Sick, Albums, Looks

Source: reprints.longform.org

Thall shall keep thy religion to thy selves.

Self

Once the high priests and the traders took over, we were lost as a species.

Lost, Traders, Priests

"Mourning George Carlin, Our Best BS Detector" by Matthew Rothschild, www.sharedhost.progressive.org. June 23, 2008.

Heroin, forget it. In my neighborhood, I could see what heroin did firsthand and I was definitely afraid of that number.

Numbers, Forget, Heroin

Source: reprints.longform.org

The Christians are coming to get you, and they are not pleasant people.

Christian, People, Pleasant

George Carlin (2002). “Napalm & Silly Putty”, Hyperion

What I became a comedian for was to get my art out. To get some of these feelings and things I had on my chest out. I don't care if people believe them, listen to them, change their ways, or think, or any of that kind of crap. I'm interested in showing off. I'm the same kid from sixth grade who stood up and said "watch this."

Art, Believe, Kids

Source: www.cnn.com

I was a hip kid. When I saw Bambi it was the midnight show.

Kids, Midnight, Saws

George Carlin (1998). “Brain Droppings”, Hyperion

Baby boomers helped me a great deal in my career. They launched me. They were there for me to sing my song to. And I'm not saying I'm better than anyone, but I think they turned that anti-authority baby boom mentality into their own enemy. Now I identify very closely with their children.

Song, Baby, Children

Source: www.motherjones.com

I went straight from shenanigans to crimes against humanity.

Humanity, Shenanigans, Crime

If you live long enough, sooner or later everybody you know has cancer.

Funny, Cancer, Humor

I'll bet there aren't too many people hooked on crack who can play the bagpipes.

Play, People, Cracks

George Carlin (1998). “Brain Droppings”, Hyperion

I kind of like it when a lot of people die, and on the other hand I always wonder how many unused frequent-flier miles they had.

Hands, People, Kind

George Carlin (2002). “Napalm & Silly Putty”, Hyperion

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