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Groucho Marx Quotes about Funny - Page 4

All Groucho Marx Quotes Age Art Beer Children Country Drinking Friendship Fun Funny quotes Giving Happiness Happy Hate Home Honesty Husband Inspiration Inspirational Judging Laughter Life Love Marriage Money Morning Positive Positive Thinking Reading Running Sarcasm Smoking Stupidity Waiting War Water Wife Wisdom Work Writing

Most young women do not welcome promiscuous advances. (Either that, or my luck's terrible.)

Most young women do not welcome promiscuous advances. (Either that, or my luck's terrible.)

Funny, Witty, Humorous

Groucho Marx (2008). “Memoirs Of A Mangy Lover”, p.88, Da Capo Press

[Mrs. Teasdale]: He's had a change of heart. [Groucho]: A lot of good that'll do him. He's still got the same face.

Funny, Crazy, Silly

Groucho Marx (2000). “The Essential Groucho: Writings By, For, and about Groucho Marx”, Vintage

Come on in girls, and leave all hope behind.

Funny, Girl, Witty

Groucho Marx, Richard J. Anobile (1973). “The Marx Bros. Scrapbook”, Crown Publishing Group (NY)

If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.

Funny, Crazy, Inspiration

Remember men, you are fighting for the ladies honor, which is probably more than she ever did.

Funny, Crazy, Silly

I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.

Funny, Inspiration, Humor

Quoted in Look Magazine, 28 Mar. 1950

Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you're probably watching the wrong channel.

Funny, Witty, Humorous

This book was written in those long hours I spent waiting for my wife to get dressed to go out. And if she had never gotten dressed at all this book would never have been written.

Funny, Reading, Book

Groucho Marx (2008). “Memoirs Of A Mangy Lover”, p.5, Da Capo Press

No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.

Funny, Friendship, Inspiration

Groucho Marx (2009). “Groucho And Me”, p.97, Da Capo Press

A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.

Funny, Life, Women

"Biography/Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

Why, I'd horse-whip you if I had a horse.

Funny, Horse, Crazy

Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.

Funny, Sexy, Sex And Love

Room service? Send up a larger room.

Funny, Witty, Crazy

Room Service (motion picture) (1938). Screenplay by Morrie Ryskind.

Do you mind if I don't smoke?

Funny, Witty, Humorous

"Fictional character: Captain Jeffrey Spaulding". "Animal Crackers", www.imdb.com. 1930.

My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one.

Love, Funny, Mothers Day

You know I could rent you out as a decoy for duck hunters?

Funny, Crazy, Silly

Groucho Marx (2000). “The Essential Groucho: Writings By, For, and about Groucho Marx”, Vintage

It isn't necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy.

Funny, Witty, Cousin

Hail, hail Freedonia, land of the free!

Funny, Witty, Humorous

I've been around so long, I knew Doris Day before she was a virgin.

Funny, Witty, Sex

Quoted in Max Wilk, The Wit and Wisdom of Hollywood (1972)

If you want to see a comic strip, you should see me in the shower.

Funny, Inspiration, Humorous

Groucho Marx (2000). “The Essential Groucho: Writings By, For, and about Groucho Marx”, Vintage

Send two dozen roses to Room 424 and put "Emily, I love you" on the back of the bill.

Love, Funny, Crazy

I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.

Funny, Inspiration, Humor

I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining.

Funny, Hate, Rain

I love my cigar too, but I take it out of my mouth once in a while.

Funny, Witty, Humorous

Censored line, You Bet Your Life (radio and television program) (1947 - 1961).

Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.

Funny, Death, Watches

A Day at the Races (motion picture) (1937). Screenplay by Robert Pirosh, George Seaton, and George Oppenheimer.

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