Jeff Foxworthy Quotes - Page 5

You may be a redneck if... your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.

It's sad when you see somebody that talented that passes away and doesn't have to.

You might be a redneck if when you leave your house, you are followed by federal agents of the Bureau of Alcohol Tobacco and Firearms, and the only thing you worry about is if you can lose them or not.

If you own a home with wheels on it and several cars without, you just might be a redneck.

If you think fast food is hittin a deer att 65 miles per hr.. you might be a redneck

You might be a redneck if there are four or more cars up on blocks in the front yard.

It's a weird sensation to be mad and learning at the same time.

You might be a redneck if you've ever worn a dress that is strapless with a bra that isn't.

You might be a redneck if people hear your car long before they see it.

I think for one thing, kids are a lot smarter now then we ever were.

You might be a redneck if you think that the styrofoam cooler is the greatest invention of all time.

You might be a redneck if there are more than ten lawsuits currently pending against your dog.

It's not my dreams that get me in trouble, it's what my wife dreams I did. My wife punched me in the middle of the night; I woke up and went Oww! What was that for?, and she goes I dreamt you were making out with Faith Hill. I said I wasn't dreaming anything! Send her over to my dreams, and we'll both be happy.

You might be a redneck if the dog catcher calls for a backup unit when he visits your house.

You might be a redneck if motel 6 turns off the lights when they see you coming.

You might be a redneck if...you bought a VCR so you could tape wrestling while you are at work.

You might be a redneck if you have to check in the bottom of your shoe for change so you can get Grandma a new plug of tobacco.

You might be a redneck if...your belt buckle weighs more than three pounds.

You might be a redneck if it's easier to spray weed killer on your lawn than mow it.

I really don't require a whole lot in life.

You might be a redneck if the receptionist checks the rat traps at your place of business.

Comics don't usually have very long careers, and I'm 22 years into this.

You might be a redneck if you've ever hauled a can of paint to the top of a water tower to defend your sister's honor.

You might be a redneck if the richest member of your family bought a house and you have to help take the wheels off of it.

You might be a redneck if your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.